Canada feels closer to what your parent described than to what I see in the US, for one. There are of course those at the extremes who are very partisan. Although most of those identify more with US politics than Canadian it seems. But for the vast majority it's much less of an issue than it is in the US. For one thing, most people are not members of one of our federal political parties. Local politicians don't even align with federal parties, nor do provincial ones in all cases. Many people will shift their vote between ideologically similar parties, especially the Liberals and NDP.

Basically, for myself and most people I know, we vote for the party whose platform most closely matches our own priorities and beliefs, but it's not part of our identities in the same way. The parties themselves are also far less polarized than in the US. And because it's a multi-party system, you can have minority government that actually functions by garnering support of opposition parties. (We also effectively don't have multiple veto points though, so generally the governing party is able to govern; I think that also helps keep things from getting overheated.) Of course, the system isn't perfect. For instance by virtue of being both multi-party and first past the post, the winning party usually has the vote of a minority of the population, and still generally holds a majority of seats in parliament. But I've really come to appreciate it in comparison over the past few years.

As a Canadian, I would say the organization of our system of government and how voting in Canada works also plays a part in this. I can vote for my party of choice in a federal election and even if they do not become the governing party, I have the possibility of gaining more seats for party in parliament.

Compare this to the US where aside from being a two party system, the majority can vote for a candidate in a federal election and that party can lose and get nothing. (Of course, votes for members of congress don't function like this, but clearly not as much weight as placed on these.)

That's a good point. Less feeling that your vote was wasted. Of course the first past the post system does mean in many ridings it still effectively can be, but I still agree with your point. The lack of divided government also largely removes the blame game. Government governs, and the people either like it and keep voting for them, or vote for change (and get it). That's actually the one thing that gives me pause about a proprtional representation system (despite having voted for in in two BC referenda now). Would regular minority governments bring in more of that uncertainty? Maybe. But it would further improve the situation you described, which seems worth trying to me. (From my perspective it would be reasonable to agree to hold two elections under a PR system, then automatically have another referendum on whether to switch back.)

Australia is one, New Zealand another. I can't speak too much for other countries I guess so I probably shouldn't have written "many countries" as that's just an assumption on my part.

I'm from the US, moved to Australia and am now a dual citizen.

I think the reason for this here is because we have preferences in our voting, and we have compulsory voting. I can say, "First the communist, then the gun people, and if neither of those, finally go for a major party." if that suits me. That means our voices get heard, and the major parties listen.

In NSW government for example we had an unpopular law put in place that killed our nightlife, so an entire political party was created just to fight that one law. They got lots of first preference votes, and the votes for all who did that were routed back to candidates that actually won because of the preferences. Being able to allocate our votes back to major parties with our voices being heard is important. Liberal then realised this wasn't a hill they were particularly keen to die on, so they repealed the law. (https://www.timeout.com/sydney/nightlife/keep-sydney-opens-o...)

Also, compulsory voting means that everyone is going to vote. They have to by law. So there's no need to stoke the base to get turnout. Stoking the base makes you scary to everyone else and you get the smack down at the polls for it.

We currently have Greens members in our house of reps, and many many 3rd party candidates in the senate. It's nowhere near perfect, but having your voice heard clearly, having that reflected in law, and ensuring there's no apathetic middle that lets the extremes dictate policy cuts the crazy right down.

We must know different people in NZ and Australia, because I disagree with the inference their citizens treat politics like the weather report. One of the biggest differences at least in NZ is that there exists MMP for voting, which allows NZ to avoid brinkmanship in policy and winner-takes-all mindsets that lead to sharp divides.

It's not quite that it's unimportant to people I guess, it comes up in conversation during election periods of course. People just aren't particularly partisan or passionate in my experience. I think most people have other things they would rather talk about.

Similarly as the comment above mentions, Australia has preferential voting which helps in reducing the overall divisivness of the two party system most democracies end up with.