Can you elaborate on how Michiganders are uptight? I grew up there and I usually think of people here as genuinely friendly (excluding people mentioned in your first paragraph). It seems like a fairly balanced mix of cultures here overall (relative to the US on average).
Quick to anger is the 1st thing that comes to mind. "The Detroit 10" - (e.g. if you're not doing 10 over the speed limit some are happy to run you off the road). Lot's of focus on your family history defining your destiny (e.g. "oh. He's a so-and-so they've always had money and power..."). More conservative than the PNW the last time I was there (admittedly, 10 years ago). This was my wife's take as well (she's a native to the PNW).
It varies and you can navigate around it by finding your niche (in small groups or one-on-one, people are more pleasant). But the ambient feeling of uptightness comes from a few things:
- Guarded, anxious personalities. It’s very rare to have random conversations with people, especially without them acting uncomfortable like you have an ulterior motive. Maybe this is part of city living, but on the west coast I regularly talked to people (something as simple as: in Portland, making small talk about the weather with another guy my age was somewhat jarring for me).
- People drive (and even walk) like they are the only person in the world that matters and that their head will explode if you delay them for 2 seconds. Be ready to have people aggressively tailgate you, prevent you from merging for no reason, etc. every single time you go anywhere.
- Intellectual snootiness / inflated egos / overindexing on status. I think living in the center of the political universe goes to peoples’ heads. The reality is that almost everyone is a cog that is trying in vain (almost always with good intentions) to improve the world.
- Conservative work/life norms. Like, people caring way too much about dress/appearances/etc. People behave like they’re being watched because, well, they probably are (so they don’t want to step out of line). Sometimes it feels like a pissing contest to see who can give off appearances of working harder (midnight emails, etc.)
- Insane heat and humidity in the summer understandably makes people agitated.
All that said, there are a huge number of things that are great about living there. And my views are tinted by the lens of social anxiety and the burnout I experienced there. Someone less sensitive than me may feel much differently.
That's funny. As a native of the south (Charlotte) who lived in Seattle for a while, I would have used your first point to describe west coast people. Almost nobody in Seattle would make conversation with strangers. When I went back to Charlotte after a few years in Seattle, I was sort of blown away by the fact that I had an entire 5 minute conversation with a homeless person on the bench next to me while I was waiting for an uber - and not once did he ask for money. It was just him asking if I needed directions and then we talked about the weather and the city. (I'm not saying that's the norm, but that does not happen ever Seattle). I used to hate random small talk when I was growing up, but I now understand that it's a sign of an overtly friendly culture, which is not a bad thing in my book.
I haven't spent much time in DC myself but, I had wondered about it. Your description definitely doesn't make it sound like a good time for me either. I've glad you got out and are (hopefully) happier elsewhere!
Now the DC area...that is an uptight place.