I would never have believed it, but cancer changes you. And I can totally relate to the experience, while I wnet through chemo, it was an easy one. Seeing all the others, successfully going through it felt kind of like cheating to me, e.g. I never lost my hair or a lot of weight. Other had to be brouht to the brink of death in order to survive.
One thing I realized was, that I was less afraid of death itself, but rather the process of dying which can be a rather lengthy and ugly thing. Worst thing to happen, eve wirse than the initial diagnosis, was the moment a couple of months after I inished chemo. Some hemorroids started to act up again, and it was a quite realistic scenario that the cancer was back. Damn, I was destroyed by that. The initial diagnosis didn#t realy surprise me, for some reason I kind of expected that after all the tests they did. The potential second one caught me completely off guard, it took me a couple of months to recover from that. looking back, I'd say that was the worst part of the whole thing.
One thing I realized was, that I was less afraid of death itself, but rather the process of dying which can be a rather lengthy and ugly thing. Worst thing to happen, eve wirse than the initial diagnosis, was the moment a couple of months after I inished chemo. Some hemorroids started to act up again, and it was a quite realistic scenario that the cancer was back. Damn, I was destroyed by that. The initial diagnosis didn#t realy surprise me, for some reason I kind of expected that after all the tests they did. The potential second one caught me completely off guard, it took me a couple of months to recover from that. looking back, I'd say that was the worst part of the whole thing.