...and the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

They still did paper stock certificates in 1999?

They were a gift from a relative who liked to hold physical certificates. They do give the holder a feeling that a small chunk of the company is truly theirs.

I didn't redeem the (very low-value) shares because I didn't want a tiny slice of Oracle or a few dollars; I'd rather have an actual chunk of Sun.

Looks like it became very difficult to get physical certificates beginning in the late 2000s (see right sidebar): https://www.giveashare.com/stockcertificates.shtml

> it became very difficult to get physical certificates beginning in the late 2000s

For publicly traded shares, yes. In private equity, we still get to play “who tore the stock certificate.”

Aren't those ornamental at this point, though? Like I thought they use some other record-keeper as the source of truth on who owns the stock, rather than whether you hold a certain piece of paper (bearer shares).

Stock certificates usually have your name on them, and then there's a process to sign them over to someone. The corporation has a register of its shareholders, and in this case it's you.

At least in Canada, once you get a physical share, you can then buy shares directly from many companies by writing them a cheque without any commissions. Less important as trades here now average around $10, but that's fairly recent for many.

I still have a share of a Canadian bank that spiked in value by the time I got my certificate sorted out. They still mail me a cheque every 3 months for <$1 in dividends.

Certificates are still perfectly valid, but most stock is “dematerialised” and held at a central securities depository, like DTC - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depository_Trust_Company

This allows transfer by “book entry” rather than mailing the physical documents - much like an electronic bank transfer.

I think it was more of a novelty thing for when you gifted someone else stock but yes, they did.