I am sorry for what you and your partner must be going through.
There might be other nations where this is less the case. My Italian father in law has lung cancer, and I am able to observe some of the healthcare system in Italy, in relation to cancer patients. My very anecdotal observation is that it seems far better than anything in the US (I live in SF, I assume you live in the US given your comments about in-network medical bills, etc).
This is just to say that your rage might be directed at one specific healthcare system (US), while other parts of the world might be doing better than that.
There might be other nations where this is less the case. My Italian father in law has lung cancer, and I am able to observe some of the healthcare system in Italy, in relation to cancer patients. My very anecdotal observation is that it seems far better than anything in the US (I live in SF, I assume you live in the US given your comments about in-network medical bills, etc).
This is just to say that your rage might be directed at one specific healthcare system (US), while other parts of the world might be doing better than that.