After many years of not being successful at holding down jobs in some aspect of software development or another, I've sort of become desensitized to being let go or terminated from a position. After the first time, I have no regard or fear for the possibility that I might lose my job if I don't conduct myself somehow that isn't inherently important.

This results in me being much more comfortable in interviews, and speaking openly to my bosses, but obviously hinders me elsewhere.

Most of my friends have not been fired and do feel stress about that ever being a possibility, such that they are extrinsically motivated to modify their behavior to keep it. However for me, I won't feel that same stress, or stress about things that are out of my control or I've found a reason to think of a policy as arbitrary.

Other examples: - Not thinking of anyone as superior or lesser than me. I just think of people as people with varying qualities. So far I haven't seen this as necessarily disadvantageous. - Exams. If I feel confident that I know a thing, I'm not stressed about how I grade on it, or even completing it, if my only reason for being there is the grade. My brain seems to conclude that the exercise is trite, and then I kind of check out. This one seems more like a symptom of ADHD than anything. - Taxes. After the last time I was terminated, I fell into a tricky/homeless financial situation, and obviously put my well-being ahead of anything else. I'm catching up now years later, but only because I now have the means to actually pay them and there isn't an alternative that is intrinsically more important.

It's very freeing, but also leads to a lot of volatility within a system that most adults have figured out.

Have any of you experienced this? How have you leveraged this or pivoted from it?