You don't really make choices in most Zelda game. All the character advancement is coupled to story progression (you get an item in the 1st dungeon that lets you access the 2nd dungeon and so on). I think that reduces the "role playing" that goes on and makes Zelda more of an Action/Adventure series.

Diablo is the ur-ARPG on pc, and it doesn't have any choices to speak of; the story is completely on rails.

I’ve beaten zelda without picking up the sword on the first screen.

There are definitely more “normal” choices to be made. Should you level up with heart containers, or get better at not dying, for example?

not true for botw

It's not even true for many of the "classic" Zelda games like Link to the Past or Ocarina of Time. Sure, there's a series of mandatory quests with associated items -- but there's also a bunch of side quests to pick up optional items, like extra heart containers, additional bottles, and various tools (like the Cape of Byrna in LttP or the masks in OoT).

I think some people think RPGs need to have numbers on the screen?

Those numbers are important! In classic rpgs, both western and Japanese, skillful play consists in strategically manipulating those numbers to defeat challenges. It's a very different feeling than in an action game where skillful play is about manipulating the virtual physics of your avatar.

Paper Mario is clearly an RPG, but it has a similar amount of numbers backing it's system as your average Zelda. It's just that Zelda hides the numbers from you and Paper Mario does not.