Also, it seems to me that whatever they do to make the TLS handshake and certificate look more like a typical web server, they would never be able to make it exactly match. Tor connections could still be identified by simple things like the self-signed certificate, the random hostname, the hostname<->IP mismatch, and so on.

Trying to fix this would be a never-ending losing battle, I can understand why the Tor project aren't that interested in changing things.