it's not the force, it's the angle.

lightning is much better when you are plugging it in in the dark(for example).

That has not been my experience at all. I find it easier to plug in USB-C in the dark.

Yeah, it’s also more round, which helps guide the connector, whereas usb is a perfect 90 degrees/perpendicular to the case or wherever

Connector specifications literally do specify insertion and removal force in e.g. Newtons, as well as how many times they should withstand unplugging/reconnecting, etc.