The truth is probably that no one should use Facebook or Instagram in the same way that people shouldn't smoke or drink too much. Mental health ya know.
I have ~900 "friends" but I only follow somewhere between 20-30 people. I've stopped following anyone who isn't actually close. I've also stopped following anyone who posts too much (except my sister) or posts a lot of political stuff. I've also hit the "don't show this person for 30 days" on people who are ranting with lots of posts about the topic of the moment, whatever it is". My feed is just a few close friends and family and pretty much all of it nice. It's also not that busy, a few posts a day. I can keep up with 1 view day. I have notifications off except for the Messenger app.
Instagram is similar. I only follow about 8 people and none of them post too often. I unfollowed friends that post too much and I have notifications off. I check it 2-4 times a month at most.
Possibly. It may be that some people are able to, but others are not, similar to some people being perfectly able to drink alcohol sometimes and within limits while others will quickly spiral into heavy drinking. It may also have to do a lot with your circumstances, whether social media is where you get your gratification and social interactions or is just something you use to make plans with friends to get together.
I knew a woman ages ago that smoked three cigarettes a day: one in the morning, one after she got home from work, and one before she went to bed. I've never been able to control my smoking that well, and I've never met any other smokers that could.
This isn't a personal responsibility thing. Personal responsibility goes out the window when companies are spending hundreds of millions on research and design to keep you "engaged" (see addicted).
Using a highly addictive thing responsibly is trickier than a list of bullet points that worked for you. Everyone starts out using thinking "I can keep this in control".
