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"They want to grow"

I've never experienced a manager who seemed really in tune with how I think one should treat people. They usually intend well, but effusive over the top praise makes me uncomfortable for several reasons;* the only thing worse than that is demanding contradictory or impossible things.

It seems to me that a leader needs to be a like a coach. I haven't even ever played team sports, but it seems intuitively obvious to me that you reward people by gradually trusting them more as they prove themselves, and continually stretching what is asked of them to find limits and what fits them best. And you shape everything around the good people you can find, rather than trying to get people who are plug and play for a pre-existing approach.

The hard part I think is that it is so easy to ask far less of someone than they are capable in one area, and more than they are capable of in another. Both can lead to demoralization or even disaster.

*If you're continually praising me, it starts to seem as though you had low expectations and you're not raising them fast enough. Or you think I'm easily manipulated.




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