There's no way to know in advance what someone will learn from an experience. You also don't know what they learn 'now', and what they might reevaluate and relearn years from now about that same situation. Basing your response decision primarily around what someone might learn isn't a great way to decide how to respond.
Couple folks I'm working with right now, and I had thought a couple of times "well, this wasn't a great scenario, but at least they'll learn ABC from it". One did, one didn't, and keeps making the same moves (I hesitate to say 'mistakes', but in my view they are).
> There's no way to know in advance what someone will learn from an experience.
Correct. You can, however, improve the odds. Being explicit about what you want them to learn as opposed to expecting a certain degree of interpretation cannot hurt your odds, though it can't guarantee them.
> Basing your response decision primarily around what someone might learn isn't a great way to decide how to respond.
In this context, what else was the point of the response? I was comparing to the STFU tell-off of the above post and the defense of it that they would learn from the experience.
Couple folks I'm working with right now, and I had thought a couple of times "well, this wasn't a great scenario, but at least they'll learn ABC from it". One did, one didn't, and keeps making the same moves (I hesitate to say 'mistakes', but in my view they are).