... she found programming languages to be hopelessly nitpicky with nonsense rules and no relation whatsoever to languages used to communicate between humans.
I find that funny. Has she tried learning Russian?
As far as being "just another form of language;" I think the assumption is quite reasonable. However, like any significantly complex language it's easy to learn enough to get around and order dinner. But to be conversant enough to explain to someone how to perform a complex task in that langauge is quite another. I read somewhere once that people generally only have a certain amount of space in their brains in which to assimilate a language to such an extent.
A Russian won't throw an error (or anything else) at you if you conjugate a verb slightly wrong in a sentence where the meaning is otherwise clear, but a programming language will error out if you accidentally type two periods instead of one. Even the pickiest of human languages will generally be heard by listeners far more forgiving than a compiler.
You still need to be a sufficiently proficient speaker of Russian to get to a point where a slight mistake of inflection is so easily forgiven.
Similarily, once you are well versed in a programming language the compiler really stops bugging you about trivial errors in syntax and grammar.
However, it still won't forgive you if you make them. Just as I won't forgive people when they make glaring mistakes in their use of English. Yes I can still understand them, but I have the advantage over a computer -- there are probably half a dozen non-verbal cues that I can use to decipher your intended meaning (and is probably why online discussions are so prone to turning into flame wars).
I find that funny. Has she tried learning Russian?
As far as being "just another form of language;" I think the assumption is quite reasonable. However, like any significantly complex language it's easy to learn enough to get around and order dinner. But to be conversant enough to explain to someone how to perform a complex task in that langauge is quite another. I read somewhere once that people generally only have a certain amount of space in their brains in which to assimilate a language to such an extent.