The magnitude of this post is very distressing to me. (Also, HN is an unfortunate format for this kind of thing). I hope plenty of employers will read this thoroughly and take heed. I always try to assume positive intent, though it's obvious that's not what many commenters here are experiencing. Expectations seem to need to change industry-wide. To the employers that do (supposedly) care about your employees mental health: you may not know what you're asking for sometimes. To the employees: you need to be better at expressing your troubles and needs. I don't know what a solution might be. But I'm praying for y'all.