In Australia and Aotearoa we have the "Men's Shed" movement, because men typically do things together rather than having socialising as their primary goal. Work with our inclinations, not against them :)
What I've found is that I tend to have "deep friendships" that activate when I am with friends, and what counts is remembering to go and visit the friends. Sure, if I need something I will ask and they will do whatever they can, but that's kind of the minimum possible relationship.
It feels a bit weird to message someone and say "I'm taking time off work to visit your city, specifically to hang out with you"... but it works, we both feel better for doing it, and it does actually help if we have something to do while we're together. So last week I went and helped put up a mezzanine in a friend's new factory, then went and helped organise another friend's shed. We also talked a bit about feelings, which is uncomfortable but also useful. And (obviously) a good dose of "I remember that I enjoy hanging out with you".
What I've found is that I tend to have "deep friendships" that activate when I am with friends, and what counts is remembering to go and visit the friends. Sure, if I need something I will ask and they will do whatever they can, but that's kind of the minimum possible relationship.
It feels a bit weird to message someone and say "I'm taking time off work to visit your city, specifically to hang out with you"... but it works, we both feel better for doing it, and it does actually help if we have something to do while we're together. So last week I went and helped put up a mezzanine in a friend's new factory, then went and helped organise another friend's shed. We also talked a bit about feelings, which is uncomfortable but also useful. And (obviously) a good dose of "I remember that I enjoy hanging out with you".