What does this attitude have to do with being male? They have children also. A woman could just as easily have this viewpoint and your anecdotal story doesn't provide any evidence to the contrary. Calling this toxic masculinity isn't just incorrect, it shows that you have a problem with masculinity and are trying to attribute all kinds of negative actions to it.
It doesn't have much to do with being male- that's the point! It has to do with the roles men are expected to play in society, and how "being a man" is culturally defined.
Of course men have children too! Again, that's the point- to a significant degree, the "normal" family- where culture defines what's "normal"- consists of a man who works and focuses on his career, and a woman who takes care of the kids.
So when they talk about toxic masculinity, they're talking about norms. In this case, it seems GP's point is that society considers it more acceptable to expect men to stay at work for long hours than it would for women.
This isn't anything intrinsically male - these are external, social pressures that might influence that CTO's view of a male employee who leaves "early" v.s. a female employee who did the same.
That's the thing so often misunderstood about the term "toxic masculinity" - it's not about what it means to be a man, it's about what society at large expects men to be. It's about stuff like men being expected to be more stoic, and the negative outcomes that can result- things like men not going to the doctor as much and suffering negative health outcomes from treatable conditions as a result.
That said, in this case I think GP is overreaching a bit. A male employee who replied to the CTO's remark with a laugh and a "Got to get back home to my kids!" would probably not raise any eyebrows.
Except this isn't an area where there is toxicity related to gender roles. Women work as much as men do, and this CTO has an attitude that treats everyone equally. Where does the toxic masculinity enter this scenario?
"a male employee who leaves "early" v.s. a female employee who did the same"
Is there a real problem for men leaving the same time as women? I've never encountered this at any job ever.
Right, this is why it seemed like an overreach to me. I guess you could say it's also related to men generally being encouraged to be more competitive- which might make them overwork to seem more committed- but that's an effect that's so indirect it's hard to pin down.
That's the thing so often misunderstood about the term "toxic masculinity" - it's not about what it means to be a man, it's about what society at large expects men to be.
Wouldn't it be more manly behaviour to stand up for yourself, and go home on time? It surely wouldn't be very masculine to sacrifice time with your family just because you get a bit of passive-aggressiveness from middle management.
I'd say the concept of what is and isn't masculinity is almost too nebulous to assign it good or bad qualities.
