People thought I was mental when I went out and started my own business. They were probably right...especially when you consider WHY I started my own business.

I wanted to spend more time with my family.

WHAT!? Yes, really. I had just gotten married, just bought an apartment, my wife was about to have our first kid and I started a business so that I could work from home and be with them more. I start at 7.30am and finish at 4.30pm. I usually work a half day on the weekend, and occasionally allow myself to take a weekday off to take my family to the zoo, or go shopping or whatever it is we feel like doing.

We're not rich, and we're always keeping an eye on the budget, but in exchange I've spent every day of the first two years of my sons life with him. In may we'll have our second, and I hope to achieve the same for him (or her!).

It IS hard work. I DO have to be disciplined. But with a careful balance of contract work and "Startup" work, we're doing ok.

We may never hit it rich, but whenever I hear my son cracking up laughing, I can walk out and see why and join in. That's worth more than any startup will ever be worth.

Thanks for this. I've considered striking out on my own for similar reasons. I'm glad to see it working out well for someone. I agree getting rich isn't important in the grand scheme of things (not that I'd complain if it happened...)

For me, this approach is far more impressive than any story about a founder giving up years of his or her life to flip the company for a huge payout.

What you've described is what I aspire to once we have children. Working from home. Flexibility to spend time with family. Thanks for sharing.

just curious: does your wife work? how would/could it have worked out if one of you had both your skills and business inclinations and her child baring consequences?

When I started the business my wife was working, yes. She doesn't now. She's on full time "mum" duty. She is a web type as well and she does some of our content and client work when she's got the time.

I'm not sure what you mean by the second part of your question?

I worked at a start-up in Boston about a year and a half ago. It was my third go-round in the start-up world across the span of several years, but the first for my co-workers.

I went into the whole situation telling them "I've been through this before, and I will absolutely work hard, but not at the expense of my work/life balance". They agreed, and we got to work.

Sadly, they were shocked after about a week when I actually followed through and refused to work through the night, every night (we would definitely pull all nighters when it was necessary, but they wanted me to pull 12-14 hours a day every day as the sole technical co-founder). This issue became a large reason why I ended up needing to leave the team, regrettably.

Do you know right now that you need a balance between your work and your life? Sure you do! If it's your first time in the start-up game, will you actually put that into practice? In my case (and I would be willing to guess that a lot of you are the same), the answer is no. Some lessons must be learned the hard way, and this was one of mine.

It's about time someone wrote this post. I'm currently working full time, going to school, raising 2 cats, married, and bound to a mortgage as well. Even without the startup it's hard. I couldn't imagine doing all of that while starting a business.

This is a gem:

"So, next time you read an article with the media glorifying somebody starting a company and working 168 hours per week, don’t assume that’s the only way or even the best way. It’s just one way. It’s just as possible to have your startup and friends and family too."

"Inevitably, I would get burnt out and be wildly unproductive for weeks at a time."

I can attest to this and I think it is something that a lot of management types may not understand about the engineering work culture (at least in my experience). When we're in full steam our job's don't naturally lend themselves to down time like a game of golf with Gary from Sales might.

It's definitely a problem that I am still learning to deal with effectively and am always looking for tips/experiences from others.

Burnout was one of the toughest things for me to manage, initially. I eventually found ways of dealing with it and preventing it. Because I now know exactly what burnout feels like, I can anticipate it, and make changes in my work and life habits before it becomes serious. I tend code in a more leisurely way now. Although I used to scoff at the concept, I somehow have got back into the habit of working almost a Monday-Friday schedule. If I do any work at all on the weekends it's the low-stress kind, like research/learning, signing up and testing new web services, reading and writing.

I love these types of posts. People forget this is a long term game. I can't help but think that people who think a startup necessitates an unsustainable lifestyle are focused on short term gain. It is not two years make or break for the simple reason that when you're done with the first two years you will likely be at it again. The people I know who understand work-life balance have a keen eye focused on the long term. In my opinion, the more that filters into their business the better. It's all about the long term value to you, to your employees, to your customers, and to your industry.

My friends know a certain bench at the beach with a beautiful view and a nearby internet cafe to be my two "Santa Monica Beach Offices" which I try to frequent at least a few times a week. Mental clarity and calm is priceless and those spots do it. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find something to allow you to periodically decompress a bit.

I used to work 18 hour days in the film industry. Sure the overtime was great, but you were too tired to enjoy spending it and by the time the weekend rolled around all you wanted to do was sleep. Needless to say I missed out on a lot those years. Ultimately I got out of the industry (for the most part anyway) and while that ridiculous overtime was no more, quality of life improved dramatically. They call a brutal job with good pay the "Golden Handcuffs" for a reason.

Remind yourself that you don't want to someday suddenly realize you're 50 years old and have no idea where the last 25 years have gone.

I work for a small startup company. I work a lot more than you do at a typical 9-5 but I also recently got engaged, got married, went on a honeymoon, am getting ready to purchase a new car and a house. It's all very possible to do as long as you are able to determine what is actually an emergency and what is not.

When your head is constantly bouncing between code, product, algorithms, problem sets, tests it's hard to break away and focus on your family and financial obligations. If you don't though, you really do risk terrible burnout.

The best piece of advice I can give to anyone who feels they work too much is to learn how to say "no." It's easy to say yes, and it's very difficult to learn when and how to say no. The second best piece of advice I can give to anyone nearing burnout is learning to delegate. If you're a one-man show you can delegate to your todo list instead of to another person. Either case requires followup though.

Not everything is an emergency and maintaining your sanity should be your #1 priority throughout all that you do.

This is not a facetious question, but if 60-80 hours a week isn't optimal, what is the optimal number of hours a week that maximizes success rate for an early-stage startup?

It's different for everybody. It's better to focus on what's sustainable for you personally rather than a specific quantity of hours.

wait till this dude has kids, then he'll really know what it's like to try to achieve balance.