You know, to this day, if someone came to me and said "we want to run a site for five years on an LTS Linux distro release on a fairly weak machine, with auto-updates to system packages but no other maintenance intended. We're not gonna bother with monitoring or whatever. It's mostly static but it'll have a small dynamic component, say 500 LOC worth, maybe. If we ever have to manually touch this thing aside from maybe bouncing it once or so a year we'll consider that a failure. What should we use?" I'd probably say... Apache and PHP.

Sometimes I'm in the middle of messing with the Lovecraftian horror that is the modern JS stack or screwing with extracting what I need from whatever awful request object someone cooked up or any number of other things that aren't accomplishing anything of business value and I wonder whether maybe somewhere we veered way in the wrong direction, as an industry.