Doesn't your argument apply to regular money as well, i.e.
"Zero reason for anyone to use Bitcoin/Ethereum/Monero when regular money exists. (Unless they want to commit crimes—and yes, that’s how it would be perceived.)"
Regular money can't be sent peer-to-peer and independently of the banking infrastructure/governments. Questionable utility, yes, but this is the value proposition. FacebookCoin would achieve these objectives far better than the grassroots coins. So no one would need to use the grassroots coins for any practical, non-ideological reasons.
This article probably isn't true, but something like it is going to happen someday.
Bitcoin isnt used for everyday transactions not because of its reputaiton. Its because its inconvenient, and people like a stable currency. The reputation followed what people buy with bitcoins
When I pay someone 1000$, I expect that to arrive as 1000$ (excluding fees here). With stable currencies that is a pretty safe bet, unless the transaction takes days.
"Zero reason for anyone to use Bitcoin/Ethereum/Monero when regular money exists. (Unless they want to commit crimes—and yes, that’s how it would be perceived.)"