You'd be surprised. I think a lot of times new employee set up could be streamlined by emailing a list of questions to the new hire ahead of time (prefer osx/windows? this tool or that? etc).
I know when there are new hires at my company it usually takes them about 1/2 the day to get their new computer ready to go (without any dev software installed). I think it could definitely be faster simply by putting IT in touch with the person sooner.
I've had a bit of a think of this and you're right about settling in, but I'd say it takes a bit less than you're suggesting as generally we start the process early. If I get time I'll write a blog post about it.
In my last four jobs, only one company managed to get me my login and email passwords on the first day. Once, I actually quit my job before I had access to all the systems I needed (I used the accounts of my superior for a long time.)
Wow, that's nuts. We work out in advance which systems they're going to need access to in order to determine what level of vetting they'll need. It's not always perfect, but getting access is generally a case of raise request -> accepted by system owner or director -> do.
Our process can take up to 1-2 months before people have full systems access and everything bedded down. I've seen some new hires have literally zero access for up to the first three weeks.
Unfortunately, that was my experience recently. This article really spoke to me: show the new guy that B.S. is not going to be tolerated, and that we are going to make product, right away, aided by our processes, rather than crucified upon them.
