Terry Gross is an excellent interview and I enjoy her work very much. However, the advice claims to be how to have better conversations. I'm not convinced that interviewing and having better conversations are the same thing. Further, I think some of the advice here is really more advice about interviews, and thus it is fair to be critical of the advice in a different context. Most of the criticism is really only on using "Tell me about yourself" as an ice-breaker. If I don't like being asked that question, than it is entirely reasonable for me to wonder if it is the best opener to use in general social circumstances.
One who takes offense to the phrase "Tell me about yourself" does not have the ability to function as a member of society. Based on some of these comments you would think that asking the typical Hacker News commenter about the weather would result in a ten minute lecture on the increased efficiency of looking out the window as opposed to bothering one's peers with futile conversation.
If you don't want to give an answer it's very easy to demur in a polite and conversationally enjoyable way. All of the conventional advice on getting people to like you emphasizes getting people to talk about themselves.
Does anyone ever ask you “tell me about yourself” verbatim in casual conversation between peers? I honestly find it hard to believe that this is normal. It sounds way too much like an interview question.
It's actually a good question to get to know people sometimes. You don't phrase it that way, but people do like talking about themselves unless they're robots
Right. "Tell me about yourself" might work well for Terry Gross, where the people she meets know of her reputation, are excited to meet her and get to talk to her, etc. If two strangers meet with little context about the other, "tell me about yourself" comes off very differently.
You're not wrong. I've always felt that I'm been a very strong interviewer (as a reporter, or when interviewing job/fellowship applicants), but I'm not at all great at conversation when I'm not in work-mode.
