You can make people with dementia as welcome as you like, you still have to change their diapers, wake up to their screaming at night and keep a constant eye on them so that they don't hurt themselves or wander off. It's like having to take care of a 80kg baby that doesn't grow up and only gets worse. Add to this the psychological burden of having known this person before their illness.
Do you think that if we develop the psychological strength to help people with dementia it will also make us better and happier people?
By happy I do not mean the transitory kind of happiness we get from eating ice cream or watching a good movie, though that sort of happiness is important. What I mean is the stronger and longer lasting happiness we get from the confidence of being able to work through difficult circumstances instead of casting off the difficult circumstances.
This is because difficulty is inevitable in life, and we will feel happier looking toward the future if we know we can deal with difficulty instead of needing to avoid difficulty. So, knowing we can help people dealing with a difficult affliction like dementia means we can form relationships with less concern whether it will all turn out badly. Otherwise, we will instead tend to insulate ourselves from the perceived hardship, which will cut down our ability to form strong relationships, and strong relationships appear to be essential for human happiness.
