Well that just inspired me to finally register on this site after just lurking for six months.
I went to San Francisco State and got my degree in film. Now I'm coding AS3 and RoR and doing UI design at a web startup. I discovered at some point after I graduated that a hobby is not the same as a passion - I like movies, but I love making cool things. I didn't have enough passion for movies to actually stick with the process of making one... nor did I love movies enough to be willing to work for other people doing insignificant tasks for free (or pizza) for three years to build a reputation... So I started going to events, meeting people, and reading everything I could about business, communication, technology, innovation, etc.
Right now, I have a great job building cool things. I come in whenever I want, I work roughly as many hours as I think I should, and then I leave. Some weeknights I go out, either with friends or my girlfriend, and weekends I try to stay away from all forms of work as much as possible. This balance works out pretty well - I feel like I'm accomplishing a lot and working towards a big goal at work, and yet I feel like I still have a social live and am, you know, "living". On Monday mornings I do not dread going into work. I feel refreshed and ready to tackle new problems.
So... your rant does sound like a Catcher in the Rye variation. It also sounds like stuff I used to write - usually completely privately, occasionally to friends - about my own life.
It's never about "code". And it's not about "people". It's about balancing the pursuit of your ambitions and the pursuit of gaining life experience. For some people, whose ambitions involve climbing mountains and/or starting a family, those two things are one in the same. For most of us, they're not. So you have to separate yourself from work so you can keep in touch with life.
And then, if your job does not fit with your ambitions, do it well enough not to get fired :)
If you're driven enough to apply to YC, and you were good enough to qualify for an interview, you've got something going. Don't give up on your ambitions just because you think other people are having more fun than you.
I know it sucks to hear this, but I get the impression you're probably younger than I am, and a lot of this uncertainty can only be sorted out with time, age, experience, etc.
Maybe a few more failures, too. It took some really annoying stuff happening for me to get completely out of film stuff (and music stuff too - I used to be really involved in local music)... and it was incredibly liberating.
One of the big things that got me going in my current direction was the book The Art of Innovation. That may only be inspiration for people into product design, UI, etc. (like me) and not necessarily for CS nerds... just a suggestion.
I may be a CS nerd, but hey I can roll with the cool kids, too ... you know. I could do RoR and I am pretty good with Photoshop that I could too design websites with rounded corners.
But seriously, I am pretty interested with design and will definitely check out your recommended reading.
Hey, I didn't mean that in terms of anything being cool or not cool, just that peoples' minds work differently. I know plenty of programmers who really don't care about design at all (even though they know it's important) and would rather shoot themselves than spend an hour redesigning an interface when they could be coding NEW FEATURES! :)
Your Catcher in the Rye reference reminds me of "A Separate Peace" Anyone else not only read this classic but had it as a "favorite" book once, in the introvert genre?
I went to San Francisco State and got my degree in film. Now I'm coding AS3 and RoR and doing UI design at a web startup. I discovered at some point after I graduated that a hobby is not the same as a passion - I like movies, but I love making cool things. I didn't have enough passion for movies to actually stick with the process of making one... nor did I love movies enough to be willing to work for other people doing insignificant tasks for free (or pizza) for three years to build a reputation... So I started going to events, meeting people, and reading everything I could about business, communication, technology, innovation, etc.
Right now, I have a great job building cool things. I come in whenever I want, I work roughly as many hours as I think I should, and then I leave. Some weeknights I go out, either with friends or my girlfriend, and weekends I try to stay away from all forms of work as much as possible. This balance works out pretty well - I feel like I'm accomplishing a lot and working towards a big goal at work, and yet I feel like I still have a social live and am, you know, "living". On Monday mornings I do not dread going into work. I feel refreshed and ready to tackle new problems.
So... your rant does sound like a Catcher in the Rye variation. It also sounds like stuff I used to write - usually completely privately, occasionally to friends - about my own life.
It's never about "code". And it's not about "people". It's about balancing the pursuit of your ambitions and the pursuit of gaining life experience. For some people, whose ambitions involve climbing mountains and/or starting a family, those two things are one in the same. For most of us, they're not. So you have to separate yourself from work so you can keep in touch with life.
And then, if your job does not fit with your ambitions, do it well enough not to get fired :)
If you're driven enough to apply to YC, and you were good enough to qualify for an interview, you've got something going. Don't give up on your ambitions just because you think other people are having more fun than you.