I've learned that paying attention to the people who serve, the people who make things run, the people who do the small things, and the people who are usually invisible, is important. But it's also important not just to learn their name, or to say "Hi!" and pass on your way. It's important that your contact is genuine.
I don't mean spending huge amounts of time, I don't mean fostering a long-term "meaningful relationship".
But it's important to be sincere and genuine. In the long run it matters, and you will grow to be a better person.
Oh, and for what it's worth, the cleaner at my school was called Tom, and when I read the first story to my wife she looked thoughtful for a moment, then beamed and said, "Bridget."
You guys must have gone to small schools. My high school had 2500 students and at least 5 cleaners. My university was around 30K students and had its own cleaning department.
At my High School, the custodian was Mr. Snodgrass. He was middle-aged but had an amazing mane of shock-white hair, with a shining beard down to his chest. He looked like a total mountain man. His hobbies were civil-war reenactments and painting. Most of his paintings were of the reenactments or of nature scenes. He had a small side-business as a craftsman selling his paintings at the sites of reenactments. He was a gentle giant to us kids - always there with a twinkle in his eye and a friendly word. I'm glad to have known him even a little bit. If I had dismissed him as "just the janitor" my world would now be a more impoverished place.
Sure, maybe it makes rich people feel better about themselves to know the names of the folks who clean their offices. But I want to hear what the folks who clean the offices think. Do they want personal relationships with us, or would they rather ignore us as we do them?
This is why it's so important to be genuine about it. The people I've made contact with in this way seem to appreciate being treated as people, and not invisible machines/slaves/robots.
I've been worried about this and paid close attention to it. I think that if you're genuine, it's appreciated.
Right. So one should only befriend the cleaning staff if one has a genuine desire to befriend the cleaning staff. If one has no desire to do so, then one should not.
I don't believe that's the lesson to take away. I believe one should become and be a person who is happy to take a small part of one's time and share it with others. Taking the time to become that person is the reward.
Being genuinely interested in others is a skill that one can develop and will serve one well, but being useful is not the point.
The point is to take opportunities to be a better person and make the world a better place. My opinion, and you may disagree, but I like myself better by making these my goals.
There is a broader message here than simply "you should befriend the cleaning staff."
Okay - you want to ignore the staff because you have no desire to meet them and you think they want to be ignored. Well, fine. You definitely don't sound like a people person. But if this is what you think, you are probably ignoring a lot of other people too. And missing out on a lot of opportunities and great relationships because of it.
I don't mean spending huge amounts of time, I don't mean fostering a long-term "meaningful relationship".
But it's important to be sincere and genuine. In the long run it matters, and you will grow to be a better person.