> I experience PTSD like symptoms from the constant barrage of negative thoughts the difficulty and stress of doing these problems are causing me
This happens to me too, especially when it comes to programming soft skills. Making code work per requirements is easy. Making it future proof is hard.
So make the thing work per the requirements and only then worry about debating best practices, OOP design, and the various other soft skills. For most of these soft skills debates, there will be no objective truth.
And when it comes time to deal with a hiring, promotion, or firing decision, do you think your manager cares whether your code is functional or object oriented? No, and he probably wouldn't recognize the difference, even if he had the time to evaluate your code. He's only looking at two things:
1) Are your projects delivered on time and in a working manner?
2) Do your peers complain about you?
All the hard stuff is only indirectly related, and is usually the realm of a senior engineer. Senior engineers aren't respected because they are familiar with some secret objective truth, they just have experience collected artistry that builds whatever seems to be good code. As a junior, you just need to do your best to internalize what they say, and paint a better picture next time.
This happens to me too, especially when it comes to programming soft skills. Making code work per requirements is easy. Making it future proof is hard.
So make the thing work per the requirements and only then worry about debating best practices, OOP design, and the various other soft skills. For most of these soft skills debates, there will be no objective truth.
And when it comes time to deal with a hiring, promotion, or firing decision, do you think your manager cares whether your code is functional or object oriented? No, and he probably wouldn't recognize the difference, even if he had the time to evaluate your code. He's only looking at two things: 1) Are your projects delivered on time and in a working manner? 2) Do your peers complain about you?
All the hard stuff is only indirectly related, and is usually the realm of a senior engineer. Senior engineers aren't respected because they are familiar with some secret objective truth, they just have experience collected artistry that builds whatever seems to be good code. As a junior, you just need to do your best to internalize what they say, and paint a better picture next time.