Your post reminds me a lot of my own experience. I am quite socially anxious, which is a serious barrier to having 'enough' social interaction so as not to feel isolated. Meanwhile, I feel that my time is not spent doing something worthwhile, whatever that is. I am employed and in no position to take a longer break away from having to pay the bills, but if I won the lottery tomorrow I'm pretty sure I would struggle to find something to do that was meaningful. Anyway I hope that you find a way to feel a bit less shit.