Of course it's bullying. It's also a thing that happens in reality.
Imagine that it's a paying client. You can't go run to HR. You can't just say "take your money and leave". It's not ideal, but yeah, you're going to have to deal with this level of conflict and confrontation sometime in your life. (Heaven forbid you go through divorce negotiations, like the author; "your crap is crap" is probably the nicest thing you'd hear all day.)
You also assume that the attacker's words are rooted in fact. One strategy that 'warriors' intentionally use against others is to undermine them and make them feel threatened. It works remarkably well against tech people because we put so much importance on our skills.
It's uncool, but it happens. Better that you be prepared.
But that's exactly my point. With rational reflection you know that none of those things are true. In the moment, the delivery is going to push you into a threatened, emotional place.
Assuming that the attacker is correct and that it's your fault is not always the right thing to do. Some attackers are malicious and will use your emotions against you.
Power dynamics will not always permit you to appeal to a superior. Sometimes you need to deal with a bully yourself.
Right. But when that happens what needs to be fresh in your mind is the sole idea that a person is put in charge of a team of people if they can coordinate those people to collaborate towards a solution. If that is not happening they're not doing their job... Meaning, it's their fault not yours.
More specifically, you need to be given actionable, specific feedback... hopefully without noise or personal, emotional drama.
Imagine that it's a paying client. You can't go run to HR. You can't just say "take your money and leave". It's not ideal, but yeah, you're going to have to deal with this level of conflict and confrontation sometime in your life. (Heaven forbid you go through divorce negotiations, like the author; "your crap is crap" is probably the nicest thing you'd hear all day.)
You also assume that the attacker's words are rooted in fact. One strategy that 'warriors' intentionally use against others is to undermine them and make them feel threatened. It works remarkably well against tech people because we put so much importance on our skills.
It's uncool, but it happens. Better that you be prepared.