Either lower the weights or just avoid injury prone exercises. Not much roi is there if you injure yourself. There's countless of ways to exercise specific body parts. If you keep hurting yourself by doing deadlifts for example at some point you have to consider if it's worth it. It's not just about the weight but how you concentrate the muscle and reps.

> The other thing I want is to be able to do it without making my hands all rough

Gloves or go to a gym that has equipment that doesn't make hands rough. Best bet is to look for franchises not UG strength gyms.