Charlemagne is one of a handful of kings who gets awarded
the post-nominal accolade “the Great.” His early life
remains mysterious and the stories are assembled from
various sources, but it seems he was born around 742 B.C.
So, Charlemagne was born around 742 B.C.? Doubt it!
Makes sense: since he noticed the calendar counting backwards he hung around to collect the holy foreskin and then waited until the Popes evolved and became powerful enough so he could give it to them.
Oh it would be, but we’ve known for centuries that the holy prepuce was actually...
According to an unconfirmed 19th-century source,[14][15] in the late 17th century the Vatican librarian Leo Allatius wrote an unpublished[16] treatise entitled De Praeputio Domini Nostri Jesu Christi Diatriba (A Discussion of the Foreskin of Our Lord Jesus Christ), claiming that the Holy Prepuce ascended, like Jesus himself, and was transformed into the rings of Saturn.
