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On Making Oneself Less Unreadable (theparisreview.org)
102 points by benbreen on Dec 5, 2017 | hide | past | favorite | 50 comments



I haven't read Fowler's original work, but I found the samples in this article to be hard to understand (i.e., a tad bit unreadable).

Still, as someone who runs a couple of services to help people write more concisely, I agree with most of his advice.

And although it has nothing to do with Fowler, the title of the article itself was confusing. I almost didn't click on it because I thought it was talking about personality, not writing (since it mentions "oneself," not one's writing). Then the double-negative.

A better title would be something like "On Making Your Writing More Readable."

But then it wouldn't be accepted for publication in The Paris Review, would it..."literary critics’ words" (!).


Think that's deliberate.

PS; you need to consider the context, the author is an heir to Samuel Johnson and was active in late 1800 to 1930s. For that period, I think his entries were probably considered 'plain' English.


> the title of the article itself was confusing

Isn't it a joke?


Ah, maybe. But I think a title is a risky thing to make into a joke, especially in this day and age (clicks), if it obfuscates its own meaning.


Shouldn't that be "a tad unreadable"?


There was a post once on memepool:

>> Now there is something to be said for the change, or the two changes: the old-fashioned period, or long complex sentence, carefully worked out with a view to symmetry, balance, and degrees of subordination, though it has a dignity of its own, is formal, stiff, and sometimes frigid; the modern newspaper vice of long sentences either rambling or involved (far commoner in newspapers than the spot-plague) is inexpressibly wearisome and exasperating.

-h.w. fowler

Vigorous writing is concise

-strunk and white.

That's when I when I fell in love with Fowler.


I didn't find the title at all confusing. I found the Fowler excerpts wonderful, I've downloaded it to read already. Thanks!

But :-) I didn't understand how on earth he could say "Johnson himself was the first to prove that there was little in the way of drudgery in the task of the lexicographer". Does he know how many years of toil it took him? Maybe he just means "It's not a dull book to read", I can't imagine what else.


I read that as saying, Johnson enjoyed every moment of his work. Quite a feat, what both of them achieved.


It is a shame that entire article is the antithesis of clarity.


One would wonder why? Wit is so wearisome.


Brevity is the soul of wit.


Attempts at wit are so wearisome.


I wonder if that title was chosen ironically, or if the author simply has no clue?

Put another way, what's up with that title?!


Many of the quotes in the article are doing exactly what they're giving advice about not doing, so that in reading it, you can see exactly what happens if you ignore the advice. The title is doing the same.


Absolutely, I wasn't sure if the entire article was intended as a complicated joke / cautionary example.

An interesting way to communicate the message, but I'm sure it was largely unintentional.


Ah that's why reading the advice felt like walking through sludge.


The title refers to one of Fowler's quotes in the article:

>Turgid flabby English is full of abstract nouns; the commonest ending of abstract nouns is –tion, and to count the –ion words in what one has written, or, better, to cultivate an ear that without special orders challenges them as they come, is one of the simplest and most effective means of making oneself less unreadable.


On the topic of clear writing, a longer work to follow on from this article is The Complete Plain Words by Sir Ernest Gowers. I heartily recommend it, and find its recommendations on reducing officialese quite useful for increasing clarity in technical documentation.


I think if and when is redundant because it is just equivalent to if. Based on context, either if or when is more appropriate than both of them.


'I think' is redundant because language is a mechanism for you to express what you think.

'If and when' is not always redundant:

1) I will make your favourite breakfast if you finish your homework

2) I will make your favourite breakfast when you finish your homework

3) I will make your favourite breakfast if and when you finish your homework

(2) and (3) specify that the breakfast will be made immediately, or soon after, the homework is completed, whereas (1) doesn't indicate a time, suggesting it will be at the next opportunity (e.g. tomorrow morning).

(1) and (3) include some doubt as to whether the homework will be completed, whereas (2) assumes that it will be completed, and only the time is unknown.


“I think” marks what follows as interpretation or opinion, so it’s not redundant. Removing it would change the statement to one of fact or make it prescriptive when it may be better taken as descriptive or a possibility among many.


"I think" also marks a reflection on the state of mind without any implied uncertainty. That is, it implies that the thought originates from your own mind, rather than from some deferred authority. As in "I think we should do X" in opposition to "we should do X" where I've just walked into a meeting after getting off the phone with my boss. I don't want anyone to get the impression that I'm merely relaying orders.

>Removing it would change the statement to one of fact or make it prescriptive when it may be better taken as descriptive or a possibility among many.

There are better ways to make these distinctions, and in most contexts, you don't need to differentiate between facts and opinions on account of the difference being obvious. And where it isn't obvious, it's obviously debatable, and people will do that regardless of whether you make such a qualification.


> and in most contexts, you don't need to differentiate between facts and opinions on account of the difference being obvious

Unfortunately it is not me who needs to differentiate, and many seem to blindly assume statements to be as fact, when they are meant to be as opinion.

I agree that it is a waste, but I can't change the way my words are perceived, only the words that I use.


For those who prefer a more direct (although less poetic) version of Fowler's work, I refer you to "The Sense of Style" by Steven Pinker.


  It is wrong to start a sentence with “but”! It is wrong to start a sentence with “and”! It is wrong to end a sentence with a preposition! It is wrong to split an infinitive!
Love it!


To clarify, this is an example of something that Fowler disagrees with. "See the article fetishes for these and other such rules of thumb and for references to articles in which it is shown how misleading their sweet simplicity is."

Modern linguists generally agree that it's not wrong to split an infinitive [1], and it's not wrong to end a sentence with a preposition which is part of a phrasal verb [2], or even in general [3]. Claiming otherwise is just pseudo-Latin prescriptivism.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Split_infinitive#Current_views

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrasal_verb

[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preposition_stranding#Opinions...


You should not quote like this, use > rather. It is unreadable on mobile, we don't want that, do we?


This complaint seems to appear on a regular basis (because it's accurate). Can't we just fix that issue rather than attempting to reinforce some community norm about quote formatting?


> This complaint seems to appear on a regular basis (because it's accurate). Can't we just fix that issue rather than attempting to reinforce some community norm about quote formatting?

As you indicate, there is nothing to fix when the complaint of incorrect usage is accurate. The markup quotes _verbatim_. Therefore quoting long lines will scroll on smaller screens.

https://news.ycombinator.com/formatdoc

* Blank lines separate paragraphs.

  * Text after a blank line that is indented by two or more spaces is reproduced verbatim. (This is intended for code.)
* Text surrounded by asterisks is italicized, if the character after the first asterisk isn't whitespace.

* Urls become links, except in the text field of a submission


I think the "fix" GP is suggesting is for HN to add a "blockquote" syntax. i.e., make text like this:

> something quoted which is very long and let's pretend it wraps lines

look something like this (sans horizontal scrolling):

  | something quoted which is very long and
  | let's pretend it wraps lines
I get that HN doesn't want to be markup-heavy (a sentiment with which I agree), but posters quote things all the time and it's always ugly if line wraps are involved.


Imageboards use that syntax for quotes as well, italicizing and changing the text color, highlighting the quoted text without the scrolling issues of a blockquote.

I had a userscript doing that on HN for a while along with as other text fixes, and the result seemed quite readable.


That's a good idea.


And then you still can't quote a poem without double line spacing, because blank lines are paragraphs, and line breaks are ignored. The HN markup is really lacking.


Markdown provides for this by double-spacing at the end of a line to indicate a hard wrap.

https://daringfireball.net/projects/markdown/syntax#p


That's genius, and would be such a neat addition to HN.


  And then you still can't quote a poem without double
  linespacing, because blank lines are paragraphs, and line
  breaks are ignored. The HN markup is really lacking.

  Some say the world will end in fire,
  Some say in ice.
  From what I’ve tasted of desire
  I hold with those who favor fire.
  But if it had to perish twice,
  I think I know enough of hate
  To say that for destruction ice
  Is also great
  And would suffice.


When the lines are short, that works, but when lines are longer, mobile users complain.

    You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a broken heart
    This gun's for hire
    Even if we're just dancing in the dark
    You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart
(these aren't very long I know, but it's not hard to imagine/find longer ones)

And when using it for code and only code, as per "official instructions", you can't.

Line 1 Line 2

> Line 1 > Line 2


I get it. I was showing that the double space doesn't happen between quoted lines.


I'd like to see HN get full Markdown support.

I've just added the following rule to my local HN CSS stylesheet (using the Stylus CSS manager):

    pre { white-space: pre-wrap; }
This solves the problem ... on my desktop, on a per-browser basis. I still get fuxnored viewing via mobile.

My full set of mods: https://pastebin.com/jWFqQSj9


If you're in a position to use uBlock Origin on mobile (eg, I'm using Firefox for Android), you can use its custom filters to inject arbitrary CSS. Looks like this (from my own filters):

    news.ycombinator.com##.comment pre:style(max-width:none!important)
    news.ycombinator.com##.comment code:style(white-space:pre-wrap)


It's unreadable on desktop too, isn't it? it looks like it cuts off early


Anyone remember Opera, and the magic it could do to fit just about anything into the tiniest viewports? If a mobile browser can't handle nowrap text, demand the browser to be fixed, instead of playing whack-a-mole on every single comment. And give HN proper blockquote and inline quote styles and corresponding markup while you're at it; then non-proportional text can be used for cases where it makes sense, quotes are quotes (and can have super fancy things like italic or non-proportional text within them), and even when people use things "wrong" it's no biggie because your browser is getting the basics right.


You should not quote like this, use > rather. It is unreadable on mobile, we don't want that, do we?

Is my preferred method of quoting on Hacker News.


It is wrong to format an HN textual quote as a code block ;-)


>vogue words.

Ha. Best example of this I can recall: 'said' meaning 'aforementioned'. "I ate said taco."

Never heard it before. Then suddenly... everyone seemed to be using it.


I noticed a few mondegreens (misheared words) from foreign languages used here, like per say instead of French/Latin per-se, which is by itself, in case you wonder. I suspect the bigger half [sic!] of all language originated like that.


How to write more readable prose.


How to write readable prose.


How to write right.


> On Making Oneself Less Unreadable

Don't use a double-negative, and use the correct noun.

For example, On Making the Written Word Readable




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