Sigh. I am really really bad at this. I ask a question. The reply is often defensive. Conversation fails to happen, often coming to a screeching halt.
I am not trying to dump a project in your lap. I really appreciated your comment. It makes me want to do something with the info.
Before my life was derailed, I was studying to become an urban planner, but was really more interested in regional planning. I have a sincere interest in trying to find real solutions that are lightweight and use existing resources. I am also a recent California escapee.
If you are interested in seeing something more done with this info at some point, please drop me a line. I don't know where to go with it at this point in time, but having a contact on the ground that could feed me info to help jump start something might be useful.
Thank you for making the comment and answering questions here.
You mentioned you are bad at this, just a little unsolicited help - I am not the guy you responded to but even initially got my back up reading that. I was thinking jeez this guy puts his hand out to help, agrees to meet one other local dev, comments how he knows half of them and basically gets accused of laziness / slacktivism!
It’s clear you didn’t mean that now, tone from text is really hard to judge and people default to assuming the worst, even subconsciously so perhaps leading with your clarification in the second post or somtheing lkke it may increase your conversion to conversation rate!
Sorry if this insults you, it is not meant to.
Also, I’m putting words into the mouth of the OP of this sub thread too which are more than likely wrong.
Well, how can I say that better? How would you inquire if someone is interested in doing something more with the information and willing to discuss it with you? You know, without sounding like a leech imposing on their time with your half baked idea.
I have run multiple websites for years, but I can't figure out how to develop them more effectively. I had a Fortune 500 job. I have a Certificate in GIS. Etc. But, I can't get anyone to take me seriously. It makes me want to spit nails.
Which is probably the wrong way to say all of that too. I appreciate you chiming in here, but what can I do? Knowing what not to do isn't enough.
For another anecdotal perspective, I don't read your initial inquiry or its response as particularly problematic. I can understand why you might feel disappointed or frustrated. I don't read their short response as defensive, but rather as a more genuine expression that they're not interested in doing much more than what they've already done, rather than them not taking you seriously. One might misread your opening question in a negative way (Have you considered…? read as Why haven't you considered…?), but I don't think 'client4 did. I think you expressed yourself clearly and offhand I can't think of any way I would have written it differently.
When someone doesn't feel the same passion that I do about a particular issue or topic, I can get frustrated, too. I have to consciously remind myself that people prioritize things differently. I'd love to be able to infect people with the same level of commitment I feel, but there's no sure-fire way of doing that in my experience. Edit to add: I do think there are ways to become more effective (e.g., Dale Carnegie's methods), and they take practice. I know that's little consolation when things don't seem to be going your way.
This is a long way of saying I think this is only an example of mismatched levels of interest in action, no fault on any side.
As an aside, I really appreciate your self-reflection!
I appreciate your comment. I mean that sincerely. But, here is the rut I can't find any way out of that I tried to avoid commenting on because it seems like a great way to put out the fire with gasoline, but I am a woman. So when I came to Hacker News, if men talked to me at all, I either got shitty condescending pat on the head encouragement ("You should do a website on X topic" by someone who obviously had not looked at my profile to see the link to the website on X topic listed in my profile) or people were clearly talking to me because "Oh my god. It's a Girl!!!!" and they are excited as hell to be talking to a Girl! And not really interested in discussing anything useful with me. Or ..there is probably some other complaint in there. I am having a sucktastic week and whatever.
But, it does not matter what I do, I cannot get serious traction with anything I do, much less turn it into serious money.
I was homeless for nearly 6 years until very recently. I got accused of "panhandling the internet" (Not on HN -- only metafilter would stoop so low) and my constant requests for help in developing an online income were largely ignored. And It does not matter how I ask, how I work on that. It seems to only get very marginally better, extremely slowly. At the rate I am going, I will be 100 years old before I have a middle class lifestyle again.
And I'm broke as hell today and I need more income. This is a serious problem for me. I've been patient. I've worked hard. I've done everything I know how to do. It is never enough.
What is the goddamn secret handshake for being let into the proverbial old boys club so I can be allowed to earn more than a pittance?
/totally ineffectual rant that will either be completely ignored, downvoted to hell or pissed on for some reason, no doubt. But I am at wit's end. So have at it. It won't make my broke ass life any worse.
Sorry you're having a sucktastic week. As you know there's little I personally can do in an HN comment to make that better. I also know you think deeply about a lot of things, so I'm quite certain there's little I can say that you haven't thought of or come across before.
One concrete thing I'm doing that helps me is find someone to meet with on a regular basis to talk about progress on things we individually find important, things we want to work on. We use this to hold each other accountable for progress in these areas and to bounce ideas off each other. I know there are groups out there where people support each other in their entrepreneurial endeavors (I think I've heard these referred to as "Masterminds" groups); that's not what I'm doing, but the common thread is people (or just two people, in my case) getting together to get feedback and support on their personal goals.
I know how frustrating it can be when you feel stuck. (There are stronger words, but I'm purposefully not using them). I hope things get better for you and that you can find a way to feel that you're making progress.
