I'm an addict. I was a functional addict, for many years. When I retired, I no longer needed to be functional. Things went downhill quickly. Today, I am on Suboxone. It reduces the harmful behavior.
I tell you that as a way to share that I have some experience.
Anyhow, it was in the early-to-mid 70s when I first started. My first exposure was to codeine and morphine. Those were relatively easy to get. There just weren't a lot of people trying to get them.
Later, I'd relocate and heroin became easier to get. I'd sobered up in the Marines, mostly. But I'd still 'chip' and sometimes get morphine from legitimate sources. Off-base, heroin was pretty easy to get. It was, at that point, largely a drug used in the black communities.
To pay to survive through grad school, I'd return to the military. Again, I'd sober up a bit and sometimes chip, but drug testing was becoming more popular.
I'd get out, finish grad school, and continually using. I was the very definition of functional addict and did quite well for myself. I was always able to provide for my family and never had to beg, borrow, or steal my fix.
Then, the 90s came. Oh, we addicts were in heaven. They were throwing oxy out like candy, to anyone who asked. The prices were so cheap. The street price for an oxy 80 was $5. It was less if you bought in bulk.
It stayed like this for a while. It was like manna from heaven. Nobody used that wasn't already using, and the patients too which they were prescribed. It was not all that bad.
Sometime in the mid-2000s is when it all changed. You could tell that it changed, because the prices for that oxy 80 went from $5 to $80. You can expect to pay $120 for it, today.
I'm not going to speculate about what prompted the change. I'm simply giving a timeline of events.
Now, these prices coincided with the start of them really cracking down on prescriptions being diverted. It is also when I noticed the color of the heroin users skin changing. It was being consumed in the white communities, more and more.
The prescription drugs were, if nothing else, usually not counterfeit and consistent dosages. But, heroin was cheaper and, compared to some opiates, stronger. So, people did the natural thing and switched to heroin.
I'd also notice a lot more folks buying insulin needles. People were junking out all over the place. These people were probably popping pills or snorting pills, just a few years before.
Me? I'd move to fentanyl. I found a reliable source, learned to extract the drug, and would IV it. I can't complain, I had a good time.
Anyhow, part of the trouble comes from the crackdown on consistent quality and dosaged drugs. It's comfortable to place the blame on the pharmaceutical companies, but I think a larger discussion should be had about the right to ingest drugs of your choosing. People are going to do drugs. It seems better to minimize the harm than it does to push the uses into engaging in riskier activities.
Prohibition is woefully ineffective. We have a drug problem because it's not difficult to get drugs. It never will be difficult to get drugs.
Anyhow, there's some timeline and info. If you want to understand addiction, try this: I switched to fentanyl, straight, because I learned that was what was in the dope and was killing people. My thought was that I had to get some of that. And, to be honest, it's pretty damned powerful stuff. It will knock your dick in the dirt and make you feel like you're being embraced in a loving hug.
I'm not really sure what my point is. I mostly wanted to share a bit of the timeline, as I experienced it. I don't mind posting this attached to my username.
At the height of my drug addictions I was injecting methamphetamine three to five days a week, taking benzos to sleep, and Heroin or Suboxone two to three days a week to come down from the meth.
Wanna know what caused me the most suffering: a close brush with the law, narrowly avoiding a drug trafficking trial.
I'm clean ~4 years now. I go to work every day, pay the bills, I bought a house. Fairly normal.
In my opinion one of the major problems with illicit substances is the lack of healthy social norms around any kind of recreational use, having to hide that you're a drug user.
We junkies have a worse PR department than nuclear energy. We're addicts, we're supposed to be degenerate perverts that live under bridges, beat our spouses, and leave our children.
It couldn't be further from the truth, in many instances. Having to hide it, or hang out with those who are more criminally minded as being your junkie peers, probably stems from the illegal nature of the beast.
I'm pretty sure legalization is a good idea. Let's face it, if you want to try drugs then you can get drugs. Drugs are plentiful, that's why we have drug users. Making them legal seems unlikely to create more users. "Hey, heroin is legal! I'm going to try it!" Said nobody, ever.
Actually, now that weed is legal, it's not nearly as much fun growing it.
So, yeah, there could be healthy societal norms, but not while it's illegal.
Related: I'm still not sure why coke users always seem to end up in the bathroom. It can be in a house in the middle of nowhere, but they'll still congregate in the bathroom. I don't mind coke, but crowding into a bathroom always seemed strange.
You're most welcome. I am not 'clean' in that I maintain with Suboxone. For me, it is about harm reduction.
I'm in a position where I was fortunate. I can say these things with my moniker and not have to worry about my reputation or future employment opportunities.
Most of the addicts that I know wear suits to work. They don't have the luxury to admit these sorts of things.
Hey man. I've got 5 years on Suboxone after 6 years of addiction. Frankly I consider myself clean (and I'm down to 1.6mg this week from 32mg at the start) -- my DOC was always heroin and I've not touched it since beginning treatment.
Anyway thanks for your post. There's quite a few of us in the tech community who battle the same demons, a lot have reached out to me to talk about it when I comment on my experience.
Well, find a way to make it on-topic and post it. ;-)
I expect to be on the Subs for the rest of my life. I'm okay with that.
Tangentially related: It is damned difficult to find a provider who will treat your addiction as well as my doctor. They are just fine with me staying on the Subs and are very much happy with the idea of harm reduction.
It's absurdly expensive, but worth it. They usually do my appointments right in my house. He ensures I can have a ready supply for when I travel. He lets me change my dosage, if I want. Well, within reason. I am under no pressure to taper.
Curiously, I've never had them take even a second look when I roll through customs with a stack of Suboxone. I've never even been asked about it. I leave the country, probably an average of two times per month. I used to just bring fentanyl patches with me. Imagine trying that with a finger of H?
RE. Customs: it depends on where I'm travelling. I get a letter from the Queensland government (signed by the Attorney-General, interestingly) and have zero issues with even months worth of take-home doses.
Downside is, some countries (like Dubai, which I wanted to go over to for a conference) won't let me in at all with it. Oh well, only another 24 weeks and I'm off it entirely -- though I'm not looking forward to my depression returning, its an amazingly effective anti-depressant for myself.
~$300 US/week. $400 for my doctor, but my doctor comes to my house. That also enables me to attend a couple of group sessions that I never go to.
I literally stomped around the planet with forged prescription stickers (they go on the box) on a couple dozen boxes of fentanyl patches, long-since expired insulin (I'm not diabetic), and insulin needles.
The closest inspection that I got, customs noticed that I had no test strips and told me where to get them. I got away with this for years.
That really speaks to the difference between having money and not having money. Nice suit, flew in on first class, costly luggage, paperwork in order, frequent traveler with appropriate length stays, and just about half the legal limit in cash. Imagine the stereotypical junkie trying to do that.
Good luck when you get off. I know this is moving into off topic, but, seriously watch out for the depression. Have someone else note any behavioral differences, maybe? Be mindful of your own physiological cues, perhaps? I don't actually have depression issues, or any diagnosable mental health problems besides addiction, I just like being high. I wasn't treating anything but boredom.
I seriously wish you the best of luck. Email is uninvolved@outlook.com if you need to yell at the wind.
Fascinating and brutally honest comment. Very interesting to see the economic realities and how that moved you to more illicit drugs over time. Do you think the solution is legalization then? If the drugs you needed were cheaper and safer, would that change things? Would the Mexican drug cartels ever permit that?
I am pro legalization. I say we don't give the cartels a choice in the matter. Much of the harm from drug use comes from the illegality of them. Consistent quality supplies would go a long ways.
Tax, educate, and treat.
I use 'safe' drugs, namely Suboxone. I doubt I'd change back to other opiates because I like the protection Suboxone offers me. Namely, I can pretty much only do it. It then blocks the receptors and doing additional opiates is mostly futile. I like that control.
I've heard suboxone doctors are difficult to find, because of artificial restrictions... How did you find your suboxone doctor? (Are you in the US?)
My friend was on Methadone when I met her. After six months she realized she "hated everything about Methadone", which I understand has all of the addiction of heroin but none of the thrill. This is my most recent comment about her: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15024780
I was able to find them by casting a wider net. I live in a very, very remote area. He has a practice that he visits that's not too far away. When he is up, he makes the drive to my house and we chat for an hour, usually over a small meal. Sometimes, I go down to see him but he enjoys the drive and coming to visit me.
I am in the US. I am retired in Maine. I am fortunate in that I sold my business and am financially secure. So, I can afford some of the best medical care.
I've since helped to seed another program, at a not terribly distant medical facility, that helps treat others with addiction problems. It's a bit of a money sink, but it makes me feel good. The provider is a different person, however.
I never liked methadone. Of course, when I tried it last, I was using fentanyl and methadone couldn't come close to helping because my tolerance was so high. Suboxone doesn't really get me high, it just keeps me from getting sick. I am allowed to take enough to get high, but I seldom do. My doctor is pretty cool about stuff like that.
Again, the goal is harm reduction and not strict sobriety. Finding a doctor interested in that was key for me. It took some phone calls, some false starts, and some time. I can't stress this enough - it helps to have money. Insurance would not cover much of this. I pay my doctor in cash. I'm pretty sure I spend more now than I usually did when using illegally.
Would you expect something else? I'm not seeing anything funny about it. The vast majority of harm comes from the illegality, not from the drugs themselves. Do you want to reduce harm, or do you want to impose your morality on other people?
Well since you asked, no, I would not expect something else. Their (your) addiction has affected the organ that they use for making decisions. I would expect an addict to find any way he or she can to find access to more of the addictive substance their now compromised brain demands. Being smart or high functioning only means they can find even more clever and inventive ways of achieving their desires.
You say that the vast majority of harm comes from the illegality of drug use. I don't see any reason to believe that is true. You haven't presented an argument or evidence to persuade me one way or the other. On the contrary, I think addiction is itself harm. It removes the ability to choose.
It attacks the very organ that makes your choices.
You have access to resource, so you can mitigate the consequences of your actions more than others. Remove your resource, or replace it with a $40,000/year salary and a tough service industry job, and the consequences will find you. I think eventually the consequences will find even you, however much resource you have amassed. You should make a pact with yourself to see if in 20 years (assuming you make it that long) you still think your life is as good as it could have been without your addiction.
Do I want to reduce harm or impose my morality on other people?
My answer is YES.
I want to reduce harm by imposing my morality on other people. Any time you vote you are imposing your views on ethical issues onto society. Let's all agree that everyone imposes their own views on morality onto others. You are doing it to me right now, and for that I thank you. Let's duke it out in the public square. If you convince more people with your arguments, your views will be codified into law. If I convince more people with my arguments, then my views will be codified into law. This form of reasonable discourse is how we avoid solving our issues with violence.
Look up the studies for areas where it is decriminalized and areas where certain drugs are legal. Portugal would be a good place to start. Let Google be your guide.
I understand what you're doing, shifting the work to me, but it is generally courteous in a discussion to provide an argument to support your points. Why should I do the work for you and then let you sit back and pick at my arguments? I am not making a positive statement either way on the issue. You are the one that has made the assertion that illegality of heroin is the primary causal factor in it's being harmful, so you are the one that has the onus to provide supporting evidence for your claims.
I'm being downvoted because I started this off being snarky and, frankly, an ass to you. I think my points are still valid but it's not a kind way of communicating them, and for that I apologize.
I'm an addict. I was a functional addict, for many years. When I retired, I no longer needed to be functional. Things went downhill quickly. Today, I am on Suboxone. It reduces the harmful behavior.
I tell you that as a way to share that I have some experience.
Anyhow, it was in the early-to-mid 70s when I first started. My first exposure was to codeine and morphine. Those were relatively easy to get. There just weren't a lot of people trying to get them.
Later, I'd relocate and heroin became easier to get. I'd sobered up in the Marines, mostly. But I'd still 'chip' and sometimes get morphine from legitimate sources. Off-base, heroin was pretty easy to get. It was, at that point, largely a drug used in the black communities.
To pay to survive through grad school, I'd return to the military. Again, I'd sober up a bit and sometimes chip, but drug testing was becoming more popular.
I'd get out, finish grad school, and continually using. I was the very definition of functional addict and did quite well for myself. I was always able to provide for my family and never had to beg, borrow, or steal my fix.
Then, the 90s came. Oh, we addicts were in heaven. They were throwing oxy out like candy, to anyone who asked. The prices were so cheap. The street price for an oxy 80 was $5. It was less if you bought in bulk.
It stayed like this for a while. It was like manna from heaven. Nobody used that wasn't already using, and the patients too which they were prescribed. It was not all that bad.
Sometime in the mid-2000s is when it all changed. You could tell that it changed, because the prices for that oxy 80 went from $5 to $80. You can expect to pay $120 for it, today.
I'm not going to speculate about what prompted the change. I'm simply giving a timeline of events.
Now, these prices coincided with the start of them really cracking down on prescriptions being diverted. It is also when I noticed the color of the heroin users skin changing. It was being consumed in the white communities, more and more.
The prescription drugs were, if nothing else, usually not counterfeit and consistent dosages. But, heroin was cheaper and, compared to some opiates, stronger. So, people did the natural thing and switched to heroin.
I'd also notice a lot more folks buying insulin needles. People were junking out all over the place. These people were probably popping pills or snorting pills, just a few years before.
Me? I'd move to fentanyl. I found a reliable source, learned to extract the drug, and would IV it. I can't complain, I had a good time.
Anyhow, part of the trouble comes from the crackdown on consistent quality and dosaged drugs. It's comfortable to place the blame on the pharmaceutical companies, but I think a larger discussion should be had about the right to ingest drugs of your choosing. People are going to do drugs. It seems better to minimize the harm than it does to push the uses into engaging in riskier activities.
Prohibition is woefully ineffective. We have a drug problem because it's not difficult to get drugs. It never will be difficult to get drugs.
Anyhow, there's some timeline and info. If you want to understand addiction, try this: I switched to fentanyl, straight, because I learned that was what was in the dope and was killing people. My thought was that I had to get some of that. And, to be honest, it's pretty damned powerful stuff. It will knock your dick in the dirt and make you feel like you're being embraced in a loving hug.
I'm not really sure what my point is. I mostly wanted to share a bit of the timeline, as I experienced it. I don't mind posting this attached to my username.