I grew up living this, we hardly had money to eat, but success came relatively easy after high school by simply trying really hard. I applied for hundreds of programming jobs and interviewed at tens of companies before landing my first gig where I worked my ass off and proved myself, within five years being the lead developer there before leaving for greener pastures.
I had taught myself on computers we had been donated first QBasic and later PHP. I am certainly lucky, but part of me is resentful at my mother in particular for how easy it seems to be to not live in poverty. I am so confused about the topic and honestly find myself angry at myself for my own thoughts. It's really hard to explain. I don't mean to or want to judge anyone but it's difficult. It's a touchy anxiety ridden topic for me.
I don't know. I feel like programming was the one way out for me. Not everyone can program, and for me, if it wasn't programming I don't think I would have thought of anything else that bring me above barely subsistence.
Seems like survivor bias to me. To this day I still find out some stuff about how I grew up that I didn't know at the time; maybe your mum had other concerns she didn't bother to share with you...?
I've definitely felt this sort of emotion before, but it doesn't seem all that difficult to explain to me. Consider how easily von Neumann was able to solve problems that even his genius-level peers considered extremely difficult. Of course things that seem intractable to one person might seem obvious/trivial to someone with vastly higher intelligence. Not saying that von Neumann:his peers :: you:your mom, but I imagine this phenomenon is at least partially to blame.
I had taught myself on computers we had been donated first QBasic and later PHP. I am certainly lucky, but part of me is resentful at my mother in particular for how easy it seems to be to not live in poverty. I am so confused about the topic and honestly find myself angry at myself for my own thoughts. It's really hard to explain. I don't mean to or want to judge anyone but it's difficult. It's a touchy anxiety ridden topic for me.