Thanks for succumbing to my charms and delurking, haha. Really though, I appreciate the thoughts.
You could say I'm making up for lost time since I did take a couple of years completely off of programming to do a few things, including a lot of voice study and some semi-pro paying operetta gigs. That left me nearly unemployable for about a year, and I'm just really starting to re-establish myself career wise, and I am more dedicated to programming than I've ever been before, and I'm enjoying it a lot more than ever before. I'm also far less interesting to women than ever before:) I can handle it though, since I'm becoming the person I want to be which I have decided is more important than meeting a woman, at least for a few years.
Yes I'm monotonous. I pretty much have nothing in common and nothing to offer a woman, yes I seriously believe this. If I were a woman I'd honestly want to pick a taller, more attractive, friendlier, and much more charming guy like you. I'm fierce, I'm driven, I'm focused on tunnel vision, and right now I don't give a fuck about trying fake some stupid personality full of flowery feelings. This thread has given me enough anger to want to code for about 50 hours during my four day weekend and I'm quite thrilled by this.
I'm fascinated by all ideas, especially the ones that bore the shit out of women. (Math, hard science, programming fundamentals, nerdy trivia.) I've tried travel and it's not just that I'm not interested, I actively dislike it, and don't want to do it. I don't need to actually be in a new place to discover new ideas. I don't need to try new foods either, I eat to have a killer body right now. But really I'm an interesting person, and I make friends very easily, but generally only with nerdy men who are also chronically single, heh.
There are a few things I've learned trying different approaches on online personals for almost a year. (In addition to making up desperate ways of trying to avoid the yawning cataclysm of misogyny:) ) One is that for a man in his thirties, potential doesn't mean shit, and underachieving is repulsive. I need to fix that, I absolutely do.
Again this is who I am, and it's who I enjoy being, and I am quite conscious that any personality I would craft myself toward to be attractive to women would be nearly the complete opposite. But one thing is for sure, I may be frustrated (and man oh man am I frustrated), but I'm not average, and I sure am not a chump.
In ways I envy you that the person you are and want to be is someone women are interested in, so that you don't have to face this conflict of interest every day and can do what is naturally invigorating to you, without being like a modern day monk who trades off discipline, enlightenment, and intellectual invigoration for years of complete involuntary celibacy:)
You're mistaken if you believe that "discipline, enlightenment, and intellectual invigoration" are at odds with being an interesting and attractive person. I suspect it's your particular narrow interpretation of those pursuits, combined with this huge chip on your shoulder and entrenched disdain for females, that sum to a self-fulfilling prophecy of your frustration and celibacy.
You've described several qualities and characteristics that a lot of guys would be envious of. You have all your limbs, a good brain, a singing voice. Drop the self-defeating attitude. Many men have made a success with less.
> You're mistaken if you believe that "discipline, enlightenment, and intellectual invigoration" are at odds with being an interesting and attractive person.
I know, but they're pretty much perfectly correlated with me getting what I want out of life (in all areas except with women), and being less interesting to them. Yes, failure begets failure and reinforcing negative mental patterns, which I am extremely familiar with having spent many years of my life alone and frustrated. And yes, I'm well aware that the average amputee male has much higher status with women than I ever will.
I'm not really as self-defeating as I'm venting out here though. I just know that online personals are a fantastically awful experience for me, having spent years on them, as well has having had the pleasure to meet much more suitable women in the more conventional way. Just read all the replies to me from any man who has succeeded there. It is _all_ about recognizing that geeky men are piece-of-shit commodities who nobody wants as is, and recognizing that it is a game where presenting a true personality free from guile is a hopeless proposition. You will call this disdain, but if so it is also cold truth, and these things are just simply different universes for men versus women online. I have never felt this way (like a worthless piece of too-short shit) in any other area of life, and the parent article resonated with me very much.
Anyway I really didn't mean to jack this topic into a personal self-help section. I'll be more careful in the future!
You could say I'm making up for lost time since I did take a couple of years completely off of programming to do a few things, including a lot of voice study and some semi-pro paying operetta gigs. That left me nearly unemployable for about a year, and I'm just really starting to re-establish myself career wise, and I am more dedicated to programming than I've ever been before, and I'm enjoying it a lot more than ever before. I'm also far less interesting to women than ever before:) I can handle it though, since I'm becoming the person I want to be which I have decided is more important than meeting a woman, at least for a few years.
Yes I'm monotonous. I pretty much have nothing in common and nothing to offer a woman, yes I seriously believe this. If I were a woman I'd honestly want to pick a taller, more attractive, friendlier, and much more charming guy like you. I'm fierce, I'm driven, I'm focused on tunnel vision, and right now I don't give a fuck about trying fake some stupid personality full of flowery feelings. This thread has given me enough anger to want to code for about 50 hours during my four day weekend and I'm quite thrilled by this.
I'm fascinated by all ideas, especially the ones that bore the shit out of women. (Math, hard science, programming fundamentals, nerdy trivia.) I've tried travel and it's not just that I'm not interested, I actively dislike it, and don't want to do it. I don't need to actually be in a new place to discover new ideas. I don't need to try new foods either, I eat to have a killer body right now. But really I'm an interesting person, and I make friends very easily, but generally only with nerdy men who are also chronically single, heh.
There are a few things I've learned trying different approaches on online personals for almost a year. (In addition to making up desperate ways of trying to avoid the yawning cataclysm of misogyny:) ) One is that for a man in his thirties, potential doesn't mean shit, and underachieving is repulsive. I need to fix that, I absolutely do.
Again this is who I am, and it's who I enjoy being, and I am quite conscious that any personality I would craft myself toward to be attractive to women would be nearly the complete opposite. But one thing is for sure, I may be frustrated (and man oh man am I frustrated), but I'm not average, and I sure am not a chump.
In ways I envy you that the person you are and want to be is someone women are interested in, so that you don't have to face this conflict of interest every day and can do what is naturally invigorating to you, without being like a modern day monk who trades off discipline, enlightenment, and intellectual invigoration for years of complete involuntary celibacy:)