It's a nicer alternative to the "idiot chair" that's usually in shops.
With the comment about why come out at all: some shopping we'd do together, others parts not. I am not interested in (insert item here) and my wife is not interested in a bored husband for example. I'd rather spend the rest of the day with her, do the shared shopping and then head off for a while and do something I'm more interested in and let her enjoy the part she likes.
We don't have to be attached at the hip or in different towns, there's a happy medium.
Boyfriend couches are really useful in dating situations where the girl wants to shop but doesn't want to leave her boyfriend alone. It isn't logical, but hardly anything about dating is.
Exactly. I'm perfectly happy to go shopping with my wife, but when we get to the women's clothing stores I'm generally just standing there bored. The longer I do that the more I'm just ready to leave when she's done rather than continuing to shop.
Boredom is actually a bit exhausting for me for some reason. Never have quite pinpointed why...
The only sane thing to do is to find the chair that is always close to the dressing room, sit down and read HN, and whenever she exists the dressing room I put down the phone and make a remark that signals I'm deeply interested, then I give her some advice. Then repeat. Pro tip: Remember to bring a charger or extra batteries.
Counter to that, my partner wants to check out the gaming or toy store. I might be bored stiff but give him the same courtesy of valuing his time and how he wants to spend it. At least, with gaming stores there is a hardware section which keeps me interested and I can talk to a clerk about current developments on that front.
Giving advice signals he's genuinely engaged. When I take a friend shopping for clothes, you just want someone to give you a second opinion, gender-regardless.
I give her my honest opinion, unless I see on her face that she likes or or dislikes it, then I support her, but the interest in her clothing is a bit faked. Obviously I love her just as much whatever she wears. And yes it works well ;)
Why are husbands and men often framed as some degenerated chumps in media (just check the cover pic)? Aren't there any smart guys who just stay home or head to the gym while the wife is shopping? Or some who go along and enjoy the time with their wife/family?
For political reasons it must always be portrayed that way. See all TV sitcoms since roughly the 80s, etc.
Two decades of marriage indicates that much like a root canal, thirty minutes of selecting a new shirt for the big party seems like it takes hours of waiting but its really a very small slice of an otherwise enjoyable afternoon.
Due to aspects of contemporary style and higher physical variation in the female form, if we shop together to get new date night outfits or whatever, the vast majority of the time will be spent on her outfit. It drives my wife nuts that I can select a shirt or pants in about five minutes, and they actually fit me and my butt doesn't look fat or whatever it is she's selecting for.
I am so old I remember when enclosed legacy shopping malls had a variety of stores, not just 95% womens clothing stores, I can remember going to book stores and believe it or not, music and software stores when we were newlyweds. Perhaps much as vinyl makes music stores cool again, people will start distributing steam keys on floppy disks again, it could be very hip and cool with the youngsters. Also pre-Amazon, department stores were more interesting to shop at, if she was going to spend three hours trying on jeans I could buy a blender from housewares and I probably needed more AA batteries or dish washing soap or who knows, but now a days if I want a blender I comparison shop on the phone and its delivered tomorrow for cheaper than department store price, also I probably bought it when I thought of it weeks ago, not weeks later when I was bored shopping with my wife. I think of stuff that comes from Amazon boxes today, in the old days I shopped manually while my wife was trying to find a bra that fits or something for hours. Sears is a dead company now, but I spent a lot of time and money in my youth in its hardware store component, for example. To a large extent, "I'm bored" as a male shopper is a very "era of internet shopping" phenomena.
The simple answer to this problem that seems to work for us (married 26 years) is to not go shopping together unless its to look at stuff we are both interested in. Which is pretty rare....
More like Automatic Mobile Payment System, it is better then WePay or Apple Pay or Cash! It is all automatic!
Seriously this is part of the cultural norm in certain part of SE Asia. And leaving the your wife to do the ( her ) shopping by herself is viewed as inconsiderate and to some degree rude.
If you're shopping / in the area for more than one thing it makes sense.
I often go shopping with my wife and some items we both want to look for, others only one of us. Maybe she wants my opinion on the final choices she's made but I really don't need to be around for the rest of the deliberations. There's the exact same thing the other way around.
Indeed. The local IKEA understand this, but there is a time limit (3 hours, I think) which means it isn't very useful unless you need just to go in and grab a few items - if you need new furniture for a room, that will typically take longer.
On the other hand if you offer child care for 8+ hours, people will use it as a cheaper alternative to babysitting, and if you charge for it, most likely fewer people are going to use it.
I usually end up talking about supply chains and counterfeiting and such with staff when I go to shops with people, or their inventory management systems, turn rates, numbers of SKUs, etc., assuming I don't care about the product. The other fun game is "why is arbitrary product A worth more than arbitrary product B". This only really works in higher end stores; wouldn't work in a Walmart, but there I'm busy scouring the ammo shelves for deals.
Of course. Keep the guy saying "Honey, you don't need that! it's too expensive and you already have 6 at home!" willingly confined and out of the way. Brilliant.
EDIT: Mayby I should clarify. Assuming that such a feature is only for “bored boyfriends” is casually sexist. And it is also homosexual erasure, come to think of it.
If this is still reachable from the main thread I'd request that your reinstate it. My response to a response to this only makes sense in context, and is highly dependent on it.
teddyh replying to the story and this comment mean different things.
Nuke the whole thing if that makes things clearer, but please do not make it seem like I'm saying things I'm not. I cannot say this strongly enough, please do not alter what I'm saying
Edit - maybe I'm getting confused but I'd thought things had been shifted around. If not, sorry, and if they've been shifted back then thanks.
I shouldn't rise to this, but it's a relaxed Sunday and I have some time to waste, and think it's important to look at what others say and think about how they may have meant it.
They did not assume it was only for bored boyfriends. They thanked the person who thought about bored boyfriends. That means the chairs are at least partly for bored boyfriends but not exclusively for bored boyfriends. The person replying, if a boyfriend, would have a convoluted thought process if it was 'I'm glad the person who designed the space thought about other people than me that I can also obviously make use of' rather than 'I'm glad the people who designed the space thought about me' when seeing something that benefits them directly.
> homosexual erasure
I feel your assumption that a bored boyfriend being considered is homosexual erasure ignores the boyfriends of other men. Or perhaps you meant something more specific but didn't specify? Perhaps you'd like myself and others to check before jumping to a conclusion about your motives rather than calling you a homophobe? Why not extend us the same courtesy.
While its nice that people consider the needs of other people, it also sends a social message.
To make a comparison, what if a IT company which had a similar ratio of male employees to female as this mall has female visitors to male, would make a "girlfriend waiting area that is designed for women"? Would it be a considerable and thoughtful idea, or would it be perceived as sending a sexist message?
Can't it be both a sexist message and a thoughtful and considerable act that benefit people directly?
The comment I replied to could easily have avoided any comment by me by not referencing “boyfriends” as such, but instead “Significant Others” or some such more inclusive term.
I also think you read too much exactness into the original comment; it was casually written, and used the term “boyfriends” as a term for those who come into a store, not to shop themselves, but in the company of someone else who will. I feel that this is casually making unnecessary assumptions, and making some people feel like they are not “normal”, such as women who are not interested in clothes.
One must be careful when speaking and writing as to not make people with less-than-majority traits feel unwanted or excluded. Using gendered language where it is not strictly necessary is one such thing which should be avoided.
> The comment I replied to could easily have avoided any comment by me by not referencing “boyfriends” as such, but instead “Significant Others” or some such more inclusive term.
And what if they are a boyfriend? A boyfriend that sees a thing designed for people in their situation? Is it terrible for them to think "I'm glad people thought about boyfriends like me"?
> it was casually written, and used the term “boyfriends” as a term for those who come into a store, not to shop themselves, but in the company of someone else who will.
Or casually written as a person describing their own experiences as a boyfriend.
> I feel that this is casually making unnecessary assumptions, and making some people feel like they are not “normal”, such as women who are not interested in clothes.
It seems to me to make no assumptions at all, other than a boyfriend who does not enjoy clothes shopping is one of the groups that the designer considered.
> I also think you read too much exactness into the original comment;
You're on the verge of realising my core point. You took an incredibly precise meaning from the comment that, quite reasonably, said "boyfriends". It did not say others were not included, but that didn't stop you accusing someone of something I feel (and hope) most of us strongly disagree with.
Again, is it unfair for me to say your comment about homosexual erasure ignores homosexual men because you assume "boyfriend" can't refer to a man who doesn't care about clothes shopping with his partner who is also a man? Can't homosexual men also not care about clothes? Why do are you promoting such stereotypes? Is this not an unfair attack from me against you, because I assume you don't think this but your comment wasn't really quite clear enough not to be misinterpreted.
Can't speak for women, but I don't feel particularly "erased". Or normal. On whose behalf, precisely, do you imagine yourself usefully intervening in this way?
Anyone not covered by the term “boyfriend” is being implicitly “erased” by the original comment’s wording. Some of those people, like maybe a man-woman pair who are platonic friends where the man is not strictly a “boyfriend”, are less important to assert their rights for, since their existence is being less denied by the rest of society. Others, like maybe a woman-woman lesbian couple, is more important.
Why not take a laptop to the mall and work where you are?
Ever since i learned realizing any dream i have by coding. boredom has been absent from my life.
PS: Objectifying Guys as something to be stored, is okay. And we demand guy-stuff-quotas in every female clothing store.
Same here. The only things is not all shopping malls have great coffee shops. I'd happily pay some fee by the hour to have a nice environment for coding and coffee.
With the comment about why come out at all: some shopping we'd do together, others parts not. I am not interested in (insert item here) and my wife is not interested in a bored husband for example. I'd rather spend the rest of the day with her, do the shared shopping and then head off for a while and do something I'm more interested in and let her enjoy the part she likes.
We don't have to be attached at the hip or in different towns, there's a happy medium.