My personal opinion, like some of the others, is diversify out of tech. You can still work in tech, of course, and I suggest to stop putting all your hopes/desires/fears into the "tech" basket. Try investing in a non-tech project/venture like: woodworking, dancing, public speaking, rock climbing, organizing, run for office, volunteer, teach, coach sports, throw dinner parties, learn a spoken language, learn to draw, design an album cover, do street art, unicycle, juggle, start a band, foster animals, etc... Investing in tech has diminishing returns, pun intended. If you choose to go this way, try to detach yourself from deadlines and monetary compensation. If something has deadlines or monetary compensation attached, it is not a hobby, it is a part-time job (or worse). Accept that competition, even if you succeed in getting better, becomes asymptotic as you approach the right side of the curve - you will likely never be a Jeff Dean or Shel Kaplan or Bill Joy or Dave Cutler, eat some Jimmy Dean for breakfast... Celebrate your unique abilities. And share your life with others: some of my poor (usually liberal arts major friends) have a rich network of diverse friends and acquaintances that makes their life interesting.
Good luck!
"A Cup of Tea"
> Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.
Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”
I second this. Trying to be the best at X will have serious diminishing returns. A lot of people stress out because they've put all their energy into one thing and yet they aren't the best at that one thing. Diversification is an easy way to add uniqueness to your skillset (and more importantly, enrich your life/gain perspective).
It helps to get used to being terrible at something at first. Every few years I pick up a different sport and there is that period where I am the worst person in the gym/on the team, etc. With practice, you simply get good at being bad at something, if that makes any sense.
This really hits home because if you look at my post history, a little over a 100 days ago I was wanting to create something to compete with Facebook because I saw it as Big Brother. Since getting rejected by YC, I've been forced to reexamine myself and let a lot of delusions and habits go. I quit drinking, smoking, meat, sugar. I have $0 debt (credit card or student loan or car or home or medical). I've gotten rid of as many of my possessions as possible. I've cleaned out much of my social media feeds and the amount of news I read as well.
I'm really passionate about exploring the outdoors, photography (landscape and wildlife), writing about self-actualization, learning about history (reading '1491' right now).
I've been helping two people I know with building a business online, one is a dog clothing company and the other is a film composer from NYU. I hope to scale this into an agency where I can work remotely while helping interesting people becoming financially independent doing what they love. It adds fulfillment to my life knowing I have skills to help them.
This thread has helped me so much, I don't even know how to thank the community. :)
I'd like to second this, as its under appreciated by the public at large. So many failed New Years resolutions for improving oneself can be pinned to this point.
Anecdotally:
I've been trying to lose some weight, and one of the first things I moved to do was drop drinking (as most resources on weight loss will tell you to do). It was very tough to do because I love my beer. I found the process was making me miserable.
Sure if I leave the beer out of the equation my calorie deficit would grow, but including some beer still keeps me at a deficit regardless so that I still am losing 2-3 lbs a week, and very much happier all the while then if I was losing more and more quickly.
edit: except for the smoking. That's a slippery slope.
It's all a personal choice. I'm clearing my life of things that distract, delude, lead to disease, premature death. I'm very much into Buddhism and wildlife conservation, this is the right way of life for me.
Every now and then, I indulge in some ice cream or some sushi. Slow progress is better than no progress. I know I am better off without alcohol, weed, or tobacco though.
Thinking like this and, potentially because people with that mindset can't keep it to themselves, talking like this is the best way to become a loner who is hated by absolutely any sincere or loving person.
You can know vastly more about something than average people without developing and projecting a sense of superiority over them. That's actually something pretty much every professional ought to do with regards to whatever their profession is.
Good luck!
"A Cup of Tea"
> Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen. Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”