I think the distinction between "this value is a reference that can be derefenced to get another value that is stored somewhere else" and "this value is an address into some contiguous storage where another value may be stored" is a useful one. Personally I like "reference" and "pointer" to make that distinction, where a pointer is a specific implementation of a reference.

However, that terminology is by no means universal. While, from what I can tell, "reference" as defined above is favoured in the Java and C# community, "pointer" is still used plenty. For example, the Java spec says "The reference values (often just references) are pointers to these objects"

All that being said, I do agree with what I think is the spirit of your comment, which is that when your language doesn't allow pointer manipulation it is less useful to ask whether two values point to/reference the same value.