I wanted to write something here because a friend of mine went through recurring thoughts of self-harm and (though they are doing much better now) it was difficult to see. I apologise if I'm repeating some things you've already been told but:
First of all, please, if you believe you are actually going to harm yourself then talk to someoneright away. Call a relative / friend / counseling hotline [online search should find a number in your country / area].
If you can't get through, or you think you might still harm yourself, then go straight to your hospital's ER or call an ambulance.
Bottom line: if you're in that situation, you need to make contact with someone!
Aside from the "urgent situation" stuff above, I echo the suggestions of other commenters that explaining your symptoms to a medical professional (appointment with family doctor, or similar) is an important step. They will likely be able to advise you better than any of us.
Finally, on mental illness in general: I've experienced episodes of major depression and of serious anxiety problems (as, in fact, have many of my friends and family). Medication, for me, worked wonders and helped me rebuild my strength - but the real turning point was when I talked it over with my doctor. That helped me begin exploring what I could do to get better, which led to all the improvements I've felt since.
I know it's difficult and I know I'm not in a position to understand your particular situation. I'm not suggesting these problems are always easy to fix - but from what I've seen, I really do believe improvements are possible for all of us.
First of all, please, if you believe you are actually going to harm yourself then talk to someone right away. Call a relative / friend / counseling hotline [online search should find a number in your country / area].
If you can't get through, or you think you might still harm yourself, then go straight to your hospital's ER or call an ambulance.
Bottom line: if you're in that situation, you need to make contact with someone!
Aside from the "urgent situation" stuff above, I echo the suggestions of other commenters that explaining your symptoms to a medical professional (appointment with family doctor, or similar) is an important step. They will likely be able to advise you better than any of us.
Finally, on mental illness in general: I've experienced episodes of major depression and of serious anxiety problems (as, in fact, have many of my friends and family). Medication, for me, worked wonders and helped me rebuild my strength - but the real turning point was when I talked it over with my doctor. That helped me begin exploring what I could do to get better, which led to all the improvements I've felt since.
I know it's difficult and I know I'm not in a position to understand your particular situation. I'm not suggesting these problems are always easy to fix - but from what I've seen, I really do believe improvements are possible for all of us.
Good luck with everything.