I suggest using a cascade of AdaBoosted linear support vector machines which integrates with your relational database backend and exposes itself as a RESTful web service. Then factor that out as an in-house library for future lunch-intelligence applications.

Certainly letting everyone bring a brown bag or order in miso soup and hoagies is out of the question...

> Certainly letting everyone bring a brown bag or order in miso soup and hoagies is out of the question...

I think that's their whole point. These are the kind of geeks they want to be seen as.