Forget that they are in?! For my particular shape of ears their hard shell design does not work at all. Every time I have to wear apple earbuds because I cannot find my day to day earbuds, I want to rip them out immediately, and my ears hurt after few minutes of using them.
Unless the came up with better design there is no way I am forgetting I am wearing apple earbuds.
My problem with apple headphones is that my ear holes are apparently different sizes. The right ear is always fine and the left is always less comfortable (if only just). I switched to over the ear bluetooth headphones a while ago and haven't looked back.
Edit: I should add that with in-ear headphones, I was always able to get a good fit by using the one-step smaller rubber ends for the left ear and the default one for the right ear. Never had a problem that way. Still, I prefer over the ear these days, and they also double as earmuffs in the winter time!
I have this problem too, but I love the compactness of earbuds, especially with Bluetooth. Whatever are my earbuds of the day, I order complyfoam tips for them (not affiliated, just love their product).
I hear you (my wife has a similar problem).
The sad answer is that Apple and others don't care for your business. If Airpods work well for the majority of potential customers, that's good business for them. Products don't need to be 100% accessible to be profitable, and while Apple software has been better than many in this department, on a new hardware product/platform such as this, your concerns probably fall quite low down the priority order.
Unless the came up with better design there is no way I am forgetting I am wearing apple earbuds.