I think America is in a state of flux in terms of society's perspective on the appropriate level of financial independence of young adults. For baby boomers it seemed like you hit 18 and were ''up and out'' and expected to make it on your own. If you didn't, you were looked down upon as lazy or a mooch. But looking back at history, that attitude is an extreme anomaly. I just finished reading a fantastic book about Winston Churchill's personal finances: ''No More Champagne: Churchill and His Money'' [http://fave.co/2gSQoYF]. Besides being like crack cocaine for any Churchill fan it is a fascinating look at the personal finances of successful families in Britain 1700(ish) through post WW2. Families were successful because of their ability to pass lasting, sustainable, income-producing wealth down the generations, where it seems to have been used, by the cleverest heirs, to pursue career opportunities that were closed to those without means. And of course this was considered totally normal and expected, and if you didn't receive assistance, you were at a relative disadvantage. It wouldn't surprise me if we are headed back to some sort of hybrid system like this where if in 50 years you live in a very expensive coastal city it becomes reasonable to assume that your family contributed the majority of the resources needed for your lifestyle. Housing prices in these areas in particular have become so expensive that it's hard to foresee another outcome.
Demographic change might be part of this. I told my wife (who is NOT American) that my plan was that our kid will be either paying us rent or out of the house after turning 18. She was horrified, coming from a culture where children kind of stick around their parent's homes well into adulthood. This behavior might be totally acceptable depending on the household.
What if your kid came to you and said they wanted to live at home for a few years after college to save up $? Presuming that you all get along and they are progressing towards mutually agreeable goals. Related to this is what kind of care you expect from children when you are very old and infirm (and to say you have no expectations seems unrealistic).
This. We are headed to a slow-growth society, in which existing wealth is much more important than new income (yeah, I like Piketty). It's not only in the US, also in Europe.
