Go to a regular class, try different classes. If you have the luck to live near a place where there are experienced meditators (personally, I find that monastics are waaay more skilled than "normal" people) that is the very very best. For me, meditation can be hard work but it totally pays off. It's a skill you develop just like any other skill, and proper guidance makes a world of difference.

As for the esoteric literature, there is a wide spectrum of quality, and some things are better understood after you practice for a while - then it all makes sense. It's like trying to read code when you don't know nothing about programming yet. It's esoteric. Hell even today some code is esoteric :)