I know you're being facetious and your real-life investment portfolio likely looks much different but I need to say:

Savings accounts are a terrible place to put your savings.

If you have anything more than a couple thousand dollars, you can put it in a mutual fund and see several percent return on average, versus the fraction of the percent you can get from a savings account.

In certain situations savings accounts can be advantageous—They are very low-risk and the money is immediately available. But for a long-term investment, almost anything is better than a savings account.

> versus the fraction of the percent you can get from a savings account

Ally savings account is 1%. It's where I keep my emergency fund now. Once I built up my emergency fund I stopped putting money into it, however, but it's nice to see some noticeable interest gains every month vs. the pennies I would see with my Chase savings acct.

This may be the case in some countries (US?)

I'm currently getting ~3% on my savings account which is pulling in about $200 AUD a month.

That said, I am in the process of putting some of that in to a index fund (Vanguard).

but they do help you sleep at night. the market can drop 5% in a day and not many people can stomach that emotionally.

One should certainly tailor their investments to their own risk tolerance. But there are better investments even with very low risk levels. Money market, CDs, gov't bonds, and high-grade corporate bonds are all options that give better returns than savings accounts with minimal risk (well, before some gov't bonds were negative rate, anyway).

I make about 50cents a month.

But I hope to double it with a better investment strategy.

-- edit --

I just looked at my depot and it seems like I made about 4€ last month. Well, guess retirement is near :)