Well, there are methods that can help to avoid raising "kamikaze kids". None is a silver bullet and kids have a lot of variability by themselves, but still:
- Start early to forbid things. My third don't talk yet but understands very well that I do not agree with him smashing his elder sister in the head with anything he found around. When this happens and I'm near enough to react immediately, the little thing will be slapped back, softly but enough for him to know that it is annoying.
- Be more often in the calmer mode than in the exiter mode with them. I need to work more on this because when I get home and hug the little third, I'm too quick to tickle his belly and throw him in the air. He it nice to sit often together and read a book or play lego for a while. This show them.
- Pick only a few rules and hold on them. I make no drama if one of them did not wash them teeth for one night. However, there's never a toy on the eating table. It happened to me to have forbidden something but thought the second after that it should have been ok. Then you can't revert easily. Less rules, but enforced, makes kid life safer than thousand of useless "be careful".
- Start early to forbid things. My third don't talk yet but understands very well that I do not agree with him smashing his elder sister in the head with anything he found around. When this happens and I'm near enough to react immediately, the little thing will be slapped back, softly but enough for him to know that it is annoying.
- Be more often in the calmer mode than in the exiter mode with them. I need to work more on this because when I get home and hug the little third, I'm too quick to tickle his belly and throw him in the air. He it nice to sit often together and read a book or play lego for a while. This show them.
- Pick only a few rules and hold on them. I make no drama if one of them did not wash them teeth for one night. However, there's never a toy on the eating table. It happened to me to have forbidden something but thought the second after that it should have been ok. Then you can't revert easily. Less rules, but enforced, makes kid life safer than thousand of useless "be careful".