> Yes, this is something all men should be aware of. Don't act creepy to little kids. I was the same way, until I had a kid of my own. You're better off smiling at the mom first, before making gestures toward small children.
This may be good practical advice, but it's worth comparing your suggestion to this quote from the piece:
I would say things like, “oh, well I understand that I’m a big, Black guy, and that if I don’t shave for a few weeks and walked down the street at night, I’d probably be afraid of me, too.... what?”
That is, you're suggesting it's the parent's responsibility to cater other people's fears of him. Yet I assume you would not make the same suggestion to the author of the piece? Is there a fundamental difference? What about if a mother grabs her child as a big black man walks past? Is that okay, because her justified fear of men (white and black) around her child over-rides any implications of racism? Or is it not allowed, because of the suggestion of racism (even though race is not, in fact, the motivator of her fear in this case)?
> Yes, this is something all men should be aware of. Don't act creepy to little kids. I was the same way, until I had a kid of my own.
Let me clarify this statement a bit: before having a kid, I was mindful of how I interacted with strangers and their children.
> Is that okay, because her justified fear of men (white and black) around her child over-rides any implications of racism?
I can't speak for all parents, but I hope if my wife feels uncomfortable about a situation, she does something about it, especially if our kids are involved.
A persons safety trumps any desire protect someones feelings against racism. If a 6'2 male is going to cross my path when it's dark, I will certainly become more aware of my surroundings, regardless of their race. I will also turn and make sure they continue walking past me.
Right, I get it. I feel the same. But the thing is, the logic "A persons safety trumps any desire protect someones feelings against racism" is exactly the logic that racists use. Some of the people who want to build a wall feel genuine fear, never mind its basis in reality. In their reality it's real.
I'm not arguing that the logic is in itself wrong -- but whether that logic is being used in a reasonable way (as you seem to be doing) or being twisted into the service of something unfair and evil is, in the end, a matter of judgement and context.
This may be good practical advice, but it's worth comparing your suggestion to this quote from the piece:
I would say things like, “oh, well I understand that I’m a big, Black guy, and that if I don’t shave for a few weeks and walked down the street at night, I’d probably be afraid of me, too.... what?”
That is, you're suggesting it's the parent's responsibility to cater other people's fears of him. Yet I assume you would not make the same suggestion to the author of the piece? Is there a fundamental difference? What about if a mother grabs her child as a big black man walks past? Is that okay, because her justified fear of men (white and black) around her child over-rides any implications of racism? Or is it not allowed, because of the suggestion of racism (even though race is not, in fact, the motivator of her fear in this case)?