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Just a couple things to start with:

1) Overuse of cliché.

2) Inability to use adverbs.

I'd have to review to go in more depth but those things are a little jarring to me. If you'd like to work on improving how you sound I'd recommend reading (a lot but preferable some stuff that has general interest, not necessarily fiction) and practice in a relaxed atmosphere. In college there was brewery tour nearby. That was the perfect place to have a dozen different conversations without anyone being wasted enough to remove any lucidity from the participants.




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