I was in a crazy addicted love relationship once in my life in 2007 and it scared us both because of it's irrational power and what the article terms "intrusive thinking." We met on StumbleUpon and were attracted by our shared sensibilities at first, later much more than that after we met. About that time, when it was getting crazy, we both read the story of game designer Theresa Duncan[1] and artist Jeremy Blake[2], two lovers who committed suicide within a week of one another. She and I broke it off after that. It seemed like the smart thing to do. I would have scoffed at this article if I had not had a very real experience of what the article is describing.
We didn't. I met a girl overseas and within 24 hours we moved in together. Obsessive, all encompassing, "can't take my eyes off you" love.
I moved continents to be with her; 8 years together, married for 4.
Then suddenly, early last year, it all fell apart as quickly as it started. Finalizing divorce next month.
It was crazy, but I feel blessed to have experienced it. We're still good friends, but the thrill is gone, well and truly. I was actually relieved when she said she was having an affair. Good, I thought, better you than me; now let's end this.
> “Last Thursday, a guy I went to college with, Mark Rife, committed suicide. As I understand the story, three years ago his wife Sarah died due to complications from a fall off a 75 foot waterfall. She fell; he dove in after her. Against all odds, they thought she had recovered. Life had returned to some degree of normal; but then six months later, she died in her sleep. Mark was devastated.
> In a video he left behind, Mark describes leaving Sarah’s funeral, driving who knows where and simply wanting to die — but he remembered the time they watched the film Juliet and Her Romeo, a film he loved, and he remembered Sarah’s question: “Do you think Romeo would have still killed himself if he’d waited 1,000 days?”
> So, Mark went on a 1,000 day odyssey, with funds from Sarah’s life insurance policy, to give him time to see if his choice would still be the same. Would he still want to kill himself? Mark traveled, explored, met knew people. He says he “followed every impulse.” Mark had been a pastor in Hawaii, and he left his life behind.”
I still feel rage when I think about what tumblr did:
> Mark kept a detailed blog of his 1000 day adventure, which we may never see because Tumblr took it down immediately after his suicide. I do not know whether or not this was at his family’s request, but it is distressing because he clearly wanted us to see his work. He painstakingly blogged, created content, made videos. In his suicide video he says that the website explains, “a bit more of my process, how I came to this conclusion.” To keep the blog censured is not the way to honor his death. God forbid we face the reality of a man’s decision to die when we could all just be re-blogging that picture of a squirrel in a ballgown instead.
It actually seems obsessed, not natural, to do all that blogging and documenting. It means his mind was constantly going about his plan even though he was meeting new people and such. I don't know, seems contrived if you don't realistically try to let go and live a normal life, and then see if 1000 days later that strong love did survive. If he kept nurturing the love by dedicating his days to documenting, what's the point he's proving?
Perusing it, perhaps it's confirmation bias but I can't help getting the sense that he's already the suicidal type... Fatalism and what I'll call "inflexibility/overcommitment to a cause" pervades it (hint: not a survival trait), and the looming 1000 day deadline ensures he will never get a chance to actually move on.
At the time it happened, there wasn't any news of Scientology involvement. It was told as a straight obsessive-love gone bad. More complicated details emerged later.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theresa_Duncan [2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Blake