There is literally only one thing to do: get your resume together and get the hell out. If they offer you options that take 3 years to actually occur, ignore them. If you believe in your product, take a few weeks to get over the shock, then find something else to sink your teeth into!
I wish I would have followed this advice. I was part of a very large acquisition that netted me a measly $30k. The retention package was sizable (for me), but it took your quoted 3 years to even begin vesting.
I left at the end of year 2 and was miserable for almost a full year prior to leaving. I didn't even have any financial gain to show from it.
Mate, you live and learn. Whilst the experience might have been horrible, I'd say you've probably had positives come from it. For me, the positives were that I learned that I must commit 100% effort into any place I work, but I've got to be able to move on when necessary.
I'm afraid I'm still learning how to do this, but it has helped me get out of my last job before I completely burned out.
