I am trying to address your central point. Your point is, as far as I can understand, "if it's okay for the military to control soldiers' sex lives in X, Y, and Z ways, why isn't it okay to similarly control teenager's and unmarried people's sex lives?"
But the kinds and degrees of control that work successfully are totally different from the kinds that you're suggesting. The "seizing on an ambiguity" is actually seizing on the fact that the policies you claim support abstinence's effectiveness are not policies of abstinence.
Again, you seem to conflate abstinence with permanent virginity. No, absolutely not.
This is really, really simple. Are you not supposed to have sexual contact for X period of time? If yes, you are abstinent for that period. The period varies, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter, but the definition still applies.
That would classify "don't have sex until the weekend" as an abstinence policy, which is ridiculous.
If X period is repeating on and off on semi-regular schedule, then it's not an abstinence policy. That's just scheduling sex. If it's a single continuous period, then it might be an abstinence policy.
But the kinds and degrees of control that work successfully are totally different from the kinds that you're suggesting. The "seizing on an ambiguity" is actually seizing on the fact that the policies you claim support abstinence's effectiveness are not policies of abstinence.