In the way you responded and described your experience, I think the term I should've included, at least from an academic basis, is that of "code switching" because it's a pretty interesting concept to me. The big key was the 'work' versus 'home' concept of self. It's totally reasonable to want to compartmentalize, I think it's pretty ingrained in our species, so talking about it as a fact of life is pretty useful.
It's also something that's been much remarked-upon by various minority groups. I've heard a lot of African-American comedians, friends, and commentators mention how they have feel the need "act white" when they're not around other black people. You hear the exact same thing from LGBT folks as well - they often choose to "act straight" by default in a lot of environments.
I've seen this a lot firsthand myself. It's also a good reminder that having the option to code switch is a real privilege. For some people it's not a coping skill, it's a literal survival tactic.
Yep! You really did summarize a great deal of the concept, and particularly well with the groups which seem to have the most frequent need (desire?) to utilize code switching. I've got several different modes based on personal or professional situations (definitely privilege), and I think it really started to click as a 'tool' about the time I got fluent in French language and culture. Very eye opening, and has been useful when getting to know and be collegiate with folks from minority or disenfranchised backgrounds.
